Josh was wounded by his mother’s rebuke. He felt betrayed. He knew his mother wasn’t being honest about how she really felt. Josh knew she was turned on by the idea, but she was too embarrassed to admit it. He calmed himself before he spoke so he wouldn’t lash out at the woman he loved. Then he said, “I want to make love to you mom. I need to make love to you, because I am in love with you. I have loved you for a very long time. I just never realized it until we started working on this play together. The lighting is such that no one will be able to see that we are really having sex. Mother, be honest with me, you want this too. Hell mom, be honest with yourself! Tell me you don’t want me the same way I want you. I bet you can’t. Look me in the eye and convince me you don’t feel the same way.”
“Oh Joshua, of course I love you. You’re my son. I will always love you, but you’ve got to understand that there are some things that we just can’t do. This is one of those things sweetheart. This is forbidden. We are not allowed to love each other as man and woman. It just isn’t done.” Mary said as she began to cry. Inside all she wanted was to give herself to her son but she thought she was doing the right thing. Mary knew that it was crushing her son’s spirit to deny him this way. She desperately wanted to make love to him. She just couldn’t get past how wrong it would be.
Josh was devastated by her rejection. He had big tears running down both cheeks. He knew she was lying to him and to herself. He wondered if she knew how much courage it took for him to confess his love for her the way he did. Probably not he surmised. He calmed himself yet again. Then he said in a shaky voice, “Just forget I said it then mother. We’ll do it your way. I was just getting carried away with the role. I guess I sounded pretty pathetic huh?” he said with an obviously forced smile while the tears were just streaming down his face.
Mary could see his heart was breaking. It was killing her to see him cut down so low, and by her own hand as it were. She was conflicted. On one hand she was doing what she had previously believed was the right thing to do. On the other hand she was being dishonest about what she really wanted. The fact that her son wanted the same thing caused her to have doubts about what was truly right and wrong.
Josh got up from the kitchen table and retreated to his room. He had to have some time alone to collect his thoughts and regain his composure. In his room he stared at the walls unable to breath or think. Josh felt like his guts had just been kicked out. His mother’s rejection hurt him deeply. He just wanted her to love him the way he now loved her. That wasn’t too much to ask.
Mary retreated to her room as well. She was growing angry with herself for her cowardice. She had always taught her son to be brave and honest. Now she was being neither. She did want him as her lover but how could she do that to her son? It was wrong. There was no question about that. Mothers did not have sex with their own sons.