“I can’t tell you,” Gail whispered.
Gail paced faster, then faster across my kitchen floor.
“Then don’t,” I laughed and pretended to get up from the kitchenette.
“Sit right back down there, Miss Cynthia, Cyndy Ghaworski!” she whispered.
“Why the whispering?” I used a mock loud whisper. This had to be serious. She never used my full name. AND—she never, ever used my maiden name. I could think of only a handful of times she had done so since we were small girls in elementary school.
“I can’t … I can’t tell you.”
“THAT, you already said,” I countered, I thought, logically.
“But, you don’t understand.”
“I really don’t. Gail, I really, really don’t. And, I won’t unless you start giving me at least a clue to what you’re getting at.”
“It’s about me,” she said. More pacing.
A muffled cheer came from the family room in the basement where Ned, my husband, my son, Doug, and Gail’s husband, Vance were watching the basketball game. Our team finally got in the playoffs, and tonight was crucial, just like every other game the guys rooted for.
Gail had literally jumped when that cheer arose.
“Whatever it is, it’s got you spooked,” I said.
“You have no idea,” she whispered. She was back to whispering. As if anyone could hear her even if she shouted.
The boys’ cheer had barely reached us from below.
“So, it’s about you,” I said. I had found sometimes you can prime the pump by repeating someone’s words.
“Right … right,” she said more to herself than to me. “You see … I don’t know if I can tell you. I don’t know if I can tell anyone.”
“If you can’t tell me, then you REALLY can’t tell anyone. C’mon—we tell each other everything. No matter how tough, no matter how embarrassing: we always have each other’s back. You know that. From that first day in school to—”
“To about three weeks ago,” she added.
“Oooohh-kay…” I said. “At least that’s something. What about three weeks ago?”
“That’s when IT happened.”
I hadn’t really thought about it, but Gail had been oddly unavailable for about a week back then, and things had gradually gotten back to normal. I had hardly noticed because we gave each other space without even thinking … usually.
Gail and I were the same age, 42. She had twins, Matthew and Patricia (Matt and Pat) when she was 20 and had to drop out of college. Vance had married her while working in his dad’s plumbing business, and had since taken over ownership of it.
Because Gail hadn’t finished college, she was especially proud that her twins were going to graduate from the college on the other side of the state in a few weeks. The first college graduates in either Gail’s or Vance’s families.
I thought maybe it was the upcoming graduation that had her busy back then. Now, by her jumpy behavior, I knew it was something else. Something that had frazzled the usually unfrazzlable Gail.
“IT …” I left it hanging out there. More priming.
“Cynthia, sit down,” she said. Again, my full name.
I spread my arms out with my palms up, and with my scrunched up WTF face on. “Gail, I AM sitting.”
“Yeah, yeah,” she said while pulling out a chair and sitting on the slimmest edge of it. She looked hard at the basement door, making sure it wasn’t flying open, and then looked around her for any other lurkers.
She leaned close to me and, barely in front of a torrent of tears, she blubbered:
“I’m pregnant!”
**************************
Gail kept splashing water from the gushing faucet onto her face. Then she would look into the mirror, assess the redness of her eyes, and repeat the process.
We had adjourned to the bathroom when even I thought she might be loud enough to impinge on the sports fans below.
“I can’t believe it, I can’t believe it …” she chanted over and over again.
I gave her time to react, process, mull—whatever she was needing to do. My patience was rewarded by a new chant:
“Stupid, stupid , STUPID!”
“Come. Sit,” I soothed.
We traded places. She sat on the edge of the tub and I wet a facecloth at the sink. Then I sat beside her and gently washed her face.
“Ready to tell me how this happened. You know I won’t judge you.”
Gail grabbed the facecloth from my hand and, with eyes as wide as I’ve ever seen, croaked: “Oh, but you will. You will!”
“Let’s take it one step at a time. I’ll ask easy questions. Little ones. And you … all you have to do is answer.” I lifted her chin in put my forehead against hers. “Okay?”
She nodded and took a deep breath, then blew it out.
“First thing: are you definitely sure you’re pregnant. You know your period had been irregular for the past year.”
“Yes! Yes! I’m sure! I’ve bought so many of those goddam pregnancy tests my car can drive itself to every drug store in town! Every piss I’ve taken in the past three days has been onto a piece of plastic.”
“And …?”
“And every single one had a big, clear plus sign or the friggin’ word ‘pregnant’ on it. So yeah, I’m sure. Very sure. And I can feel it. Something told me—just like I knew immediately with the twins. I knew then, and I know now! I’m knocked up—but good.”
“Does Vance know?” I thought that was a good and logical question. Gail differed.
“Vance? Are you shittin’ me! Be serious! You know Vance. You know we haven’t … He hasn’t been interested in a long, long, looong time. And besides, all those years ago, after the twins were born and he said ‘Good, we got one of each’ and he went out and got—”
“A vasectomy,” I added.
“Yeah, a vasectomy. Shooting blanks for over twenty years.”
I sighed. Without the aid of the “snip, snip,” Ned had also been “shooting blanks” for all of Doug’s life. We had been trying to get pregnant all those years, and now, I didn’t know if it bothered me more that we had failed, or that I knew I had finally given up.
“So Vance isn’t …?”
“No Vance isn’t. He isn’t. He isn’t,” she said in a mean and mocking tone. “He isn’t the father.”
Then she cried again. I cradled her face into my shoulder, as much to muffle her sobs as to comfort.
A light knock on the door startled us both. Ned’s voice drifted through the wood: “Game’s over and Vance is ready to leave. Everything Okay in there?”
Gail lifted her head off my shoulder, and sounding like she was half under water blurted loudly: “Woman problems”
“Uh-oh!” came from the other side of the door, then footsteps getting fainter.
“You want to tell me anything? Like who the father is?”
She shook her head. “I want to. I need to. I ache to—but I can’t.”
“Gail, you know we tell each other everything. You know I—”
“Not this. I shouldn’t have even told you this much. I wish I had been strong enough to handle this myself. I wish … I wish so many things now. Now that it’s too late.”
“It’s not too late. You have me to share this with now. We’ll get through it. But, first I need some information so we can sort this out. Gail, tell me who the father is.”
She made a pained face and shook her head “no.”
I knew Gail better than anyone on the planet. I knew unless she had been forced, it had to be someone she knew and trusted.
“Was it rape?”
Her eyes got wide again: “NO! That would at least make it easier in some ways. I could at least be angry with someone else—and not just myself!” More tears.
I waited, and then asked, “Is it someone I know?”
Again, her eyes strained to pop, this time accompanied by her mouth working open and closed, but with no sounds audible.
“I’ll take that as a ‘yes,'” I said.
She nodded ‘yes’ and lowered her head. “How could I …? How could I be so damned stupid?”
“Does the father know yet?”
“NO WAY! NEVER!”
“Don’t you think he should? Don’t you think he should take responsibility?”
“You don’t understand, Cyndy. It’s all on me; it’s all my fault. I should have know better. It’s all MY responsibility!”
Another knock on the door, a real loud one made us jump. It was Vance’s high voice:
“Hey! Stop the gabfest in there! Gail—let’s get goin’! Chop! Chop! Tout suite! I’ll be in the car!”
“Nice,” Gail whispered. She got up and looked in the mirror, sighed, and wiped her eyes dry. She made for the door, but I grabbed her wrist—tight.
“Gail—”
“Let me go!” She twisted and struggled, but I was stronger than her. Always have been. She couldn’t break free. This made her frustrations and anger come to a head.
“Gail, you’re not leaving here until—”
“Yeah—until! So, you want to know? You REALLY want to know! It’s DOUG! It’s DOUG! Your SON got me pregnant!”
*******************************
I pulled into Gail’s driveway and rested my head on the steering wheel. I wondered if I would pass out right there.
I hadn’t slept all night. I had studied the ceiling instead. But, I really never saw anything. All I did was go over our conversation again and again. I wasn’t even sure any more that I had heard her right.
Could it be true? My best friend? My best friend all my life? The Godmother of my only child? My son? Could he? Could she?
It seemed impossible.
But here I was. I had called earlier and said, “We gotta talk.” She had just said “Nine thirty after Vance leaves” then hung up before I could ask a million questions. The million out of the ten million I had.
I could barely look at Doug. I did out of the corner of my eye and tried to disbelieve that he could be a father at his tender age. The father of my best friend’s baby.
He must have sensed something was different. It was almost like he avoided me for the rest of the night, and our only interactions were one-word questions and answers for the most part. Quite a departure from our usual joking and playful physical contact.
I peeled myself out of the car, it was another unseasonably hot day. Not unusual for May in Texas. In fact, we had above average temperatures for about a month.
I didn’t even knock like I usually did. Not even my courtesy knock because I felt no courtesy in my heart at that moment.
Gail sat, spotlighted by the sunlight coming through the kitchen window, at the kitchen table. She had a mug of coffee in her hand.
I poured myself a cup and pointed with it at the words on her cup: World’s Greatest Mom!
Gail absentmindedly looked at it, shook her head and said, “I didn’t even…”
Obviously she hardly had the will or strength to finish the sentence. I didn’t have the energy to even start our conversation, but, after a descent void of silence, I said: “Gail—”
She held up her hand to halt any vague ramblings, questions, or accusations I could feebly muster.
“Please, Cyndy, I’ve been thinking about what to say to you, to tell you, to plead with you … whatever. And I think the best way is to start from the beginning and get all the way through it in one piece. That will give you all the perspective I can generate. Then we can have that next level of conversation. Is that okay with you?”
I took a big breath and let it out while nodding. Gail began:
“You remember about three weeks ago? It was that Saturday? At the end of that first really hot week we had?”
She was asking questions that didn’t need answers. Questions in tone only. Her eyes weren’t on me, and it was like she was staring right through that far wall.
“Vance was still away on that overnight in Dallas, and he had given me about a thousand things to get done before he got home the next day. You had volunteered Doug’s services for the morning. Our internet service was down and I had the cable coming to fix it at three in the afternoon.”
“I remember,” I said. She didn’t even hear me.
“Doug got here at 9 a.m. and I offered him some breakfast. He said he already ate, but would have a nice cold apple because he was in training. He talked a little about staying in shape and his track scholarship and how he was looking forward to going to the same college as my twins. I had been still thinking of him as a little boy and realized how he had slipped into being a well-built young man of 18.”
“I worked inside, and he did the yard work in that blazing sun. I went out to him at 11 with some ice-cold lemonade and watched him guzzle down two big glasses. He needed it because he had taken his shirt off and his chest was covered with sweat. I mentioned it, and he said I must be working hard too because my blouse was almost soaked.”
“I finished up while he was still working around the pool area. I told him what a good job he did and suggested he go for a swim to cool off. He said ‘no’ because he didn’t have any trunks. I offered him some of Vance’s, and that made us both laugh. Vance’s trunks are three times Doug’s size to accommodate his belly. I keep telling him he’s got to lose just about a whole person in weight, but he doesn’t listen.”
She looked at me, and then looked away again. “So I tell Doug, ‘That never stopped you before. Don’t let a little thing keep you from all that refreshing blue water there. You earned it. A little skinnydippin’ is a tradition in these parts. You know that!’ He looked like he was going to say ‘no’ but I put my hands on my hips and gave him my stern look. So he says ‘Only if you come in too, Aunt Gail!'”
Technically, Gail wasn’t his aunt, but he had called her that for his whole life.
“So’s I say ‘no’ but he keeps after me telling me that I deserve to cool off too. So, he talks me into it and I tell him I DO have a bathing suit that fits and I’ll be right back with towels. I had just bought that cute suit, the one we picked out at Macy’s.”
We had shopped two weeks before that. I had gone for a one piece, aqua-blue with translucent bubbles. Gail had opted, at my goading, for a string bikini: tasteful, but very sexy. Although it generously covered her curvaceous figure, it had a tantalizing string tie between her boobs, and one on each hip to hold things together. It was light green with multicolored tropical fish schooling through it. She looked fabulous in it.
“It was the first time I tried it on at home. Even still had to cut the tags off. I looked at myself in the mirror and had to admit I looked good. I had wondered if Doug would notice, then thought it was a strange thing to dwell on.”
“Doug was already in the water and gave a wolf whistle when he saw me. It made me laugh, but feel really good—yanno like relieved that I wasn’t trying too hard to still look sexy. He said ‘Wow! You look great, Aunt Gail. You and Mom really scored big. She showed me hers last week.'”
It was true. While trying my new suit on and doing a similar mirror assessment, Doug had walked by my bedroom and given me a similarly welcomed opinion. “Not too much?” I had asked. Doug had said, “You kiddin’, Mom! You rock that thing. You have such a great body; you should be showin’ it off!”
I hadn’t thought about “showing it off” but it had felt good to get the compliment, even if it’s from your own son, who’s biased as hell. I had worked hard to keep my weight down to my goal of 135. At 5’8″ I thought I carried it well.
Gail was no slouch herself. She was four inches shorter and about fifteen to twenty pounds lighter. That made her 34D’s look all the more impressive on her small frame. Much more eye-catching than my 36C’s.
But I prided myself on being the more toned, while Gail was soft and curvy.
Gail continued with her account:
“I put down the towels on a beach chair and walked over to where Doug was swimming. Although I could tell that he was naked, the water made it impossible to see much detail. ‘Dive in, Aunt Gail!’ Doug’s eyes took in all the details of my bathing suit, as I later found out.”
“I didn’t want to chance a dive on the first tryout of my new bathing attire, so I tenderly climbed down the ladder. I was surprised that Doug was right behind me when I got all the way in. ‘Feels great, Auntie, I’m glad we’re swimming together.'”
“I had to admit, the water did feel amazing for the first time of the season. Especially on such a hot day. ‘Go all the way under’ he said, but I said I didn’t plan on getting my hair wet.”
Gail had neck-length, short sunlight blonde hair, parted on the side. The way she had it cut made it impossible for it ever to look tousled after a quick shake of her head.
“I relented and went completely under water. What I hadn’t considered was that it brought me to eye level with Doug’s private parts. That surprise might have delayed my return to the surface for an extra split second.”
So Gail had seen Doug’s penis. So what? No big deal. I had seen it plenty of times, but had to admit it had been maybe eight years since the last time.
“We swam for a while, and then Doug said he was going to dive. I should have turned away, but stared at him as he climbed out of the pool, stood still at the edge, looked into my eyes, and dived. He repeated this a few more times, and I stupidly watched him each time. my first thoughts were about comparing him to Vance’s blubber. It was nice to see what a man should really look like. Doug is so muscular and proportioned because of his athletics. It was hard not to admire him, even though he was your son.”
Gail was starting to beat herself up, and I wanted her to go on. “So he was diving and you watched. Nothing wrong with that,” I said.
“Nothing wrong probably until the third or fourth time. I wasn’t looking at his face anymore. I was looking at his crotch. He has a little dark triangle, and even with the cold water effect, I was staring at the biggest penis I had ever seen. Even flaccid I could tell that.”
It’s kind of shocking to have your best friend state you son has a big penis.
“I couldn’t take my eyes off it, and I looked up at Doug’s face, and he had a sort of grin like he know I knew. He dove in and said ‘No fair I’m the only one skinnydipping. When was the last time you did, Aunt Gail?'”
“His question took me by surprise, so I told him the truth. It had been the night before we closed the pool down last September. He teased me that it felt great and I should do it again. I said maybe next September to celebrate the end of the season.”
“He dove a couple more times and I watched him a couple more times. Then he tried to get me to dive and I said no. Finally he said ‘Then dive off my shoulders, dive backwards’ and with that he went underwater and came up with me sitting on his shoulders with us facing the same direction. I hadn’t done this in years. Certainly not since Matt went to college. We used to do it all the time.”
“So I laugh and say okay, and he’s steadying me on his shoulders with his hands on my hips and he says ‘On the count of three’ and he counts and he pushes and I dive backwards and I laugh. I did a beautiful dive and when I came up and shook the water out of my eyes, Doug was laughing and holding something in his hands—my bikini bottoms!”
I would have laughed if this wasn’t so serious.
“Somehow, when Doug had been pretending to balance me on his shoulders, his fingers were untying my string bikini bottoms. They never made the dive with me.”
Now I laughed.
“Not funny! Not funny at all. And, your conniving son held them over his head when I screamed. ‘Come get them’ he said. But when I tried to reach them, he pulled the front tie of my top and before I could recover, had whipped it off me! Now I was as naked as he was!”
“I tried to get them back, but realized that as I reached for them—and he always had them just out of reach—my body was making way too much contact as he lay back and I swam trying to reach over his head. My boobs were in contact with his chest, and then I felt something else, something poking at my hips. I didn’t even want to think about what it could be.”
“I was furious, but didn’t know what to do—climb out and make a run for it? He would sit there in the pool and see everything. I wasn’t ready for that. But, looking back, that’s what I should have done.”
I couldn’t imagine Doug doing something shameful like that. He had never acted that way before, and I would’ve thought it was just a prank hadn’t the outcome been so serious. I really wanted to know how the situation had gotten to the point of them having sex, but thought I should let Gail have her space to have the whole thing unfold in her own way and pace.
“Doug took all my hope away of getting out of the pool with my dignity intact by throwing my bikini as far as he could up on the lawn. That’s when I should have run after it, but I thought still I might just wait there until he got tired of his game and left.”
She looked at me and said, “I wish I could go back there on that day and have it all to do over, knowing what I do now. You have to believe me. I’m so sorry.”
“Gail, I’m not blaming you. It’s Doug’s fault. I can see that now. I can see where this is going. You don’t have to say any more.” I surmised that Doug forced Gail in the pool, but she held up her hand.
“I yelled at Doug. Swore at him! He just laughed. All a joke still. He said ‘Relax, Auntie, and let’s just swim’ and swam up to me. I tried to swim away but he easily caught up and glided against me, pushing his crotch against my butt—not hard, but just enough so I knew what was there. I remember thinking that my eyes had betrayed me when he was diving. He knew I had been looking at his penis. Now he wanted me to be aware of it in another way. And aware I was. He would swim away and then back again underwater.”
“I knew he must be getting quite a view of my naked body. I would try to turn my back, but he was constantly telling me how beautiful I was and how lucky Vance was to be able to see me naked every night. Finally, as he was swimming towards me again, I didn’t even bother to turn. Now he had seen all of me.”
“I didn’t know if I was mad at myself or relieved I didn’t have to defend my nakedness any more.”
Gail took a long drink of coffee. I had forgotten I even had any. I mirrored her action and waited for her. She put her cup down.
“I tried to be more nonchalant and actually swim a bit in my own damned pool. But Doug, with those muscles and coordination always caught up with me, now more aggressively rubbing his body against mine. I told him to stop but he laughed and hugged me close until we both almost went completely under. that’s when he slid his hand down my right arm and took hold of my wrist. Before I knew it, he had placed my hand on his penis.”
She looked at me, and I said, “Gail, I can’t ever imagine Doug doing something like that. Especially to you. You’re like a second mother to him.”
“Are you saying I’m lying? Do you think I’d make this up?”
“No … no. Of course not. It’s something so hard to believe out of the blue like this. This is nothing like Doug. Nothing at all,” I said.
“Do you want to hear the rest, or go on believing … believing … whatever?”
I could feel the tension building in Gail and didn’t want this to break her all apart at this point. “Take your time,” I said, and patted her hand.
“My hand was on his penis for at most a second before I realized what had happened. But not before it registered that it was hard, and even in that cold water—hot. I called him a pig and threatened to tell you. He laughed again. I guess it’s easier to laugh when you’re completely naked and so is your aunt. He said ‘I bet you never felt anything like that before’ and I shot back ‘Don’t flatter yourself.'”
“He swam behind me and encircled my waist with his arms. I could feel their strength, their power. Such a difference from Vance’s flabby hugs. He held me tight with his left arm and then cupped my right breast for the briefest time with his right hand. I yelped and twisted, but could feel the palm of his hand glide over my nipple, which was already hard from the water. He whispered in my ear ‘I always wondered what your gorgeous tits felt like.'”
“I told him he had to stop and asked him again why he was doing this. He said because he had such a sexy aunt. He guided my hand again to his penis and again I took it away. This time without saying anything. I told him I had to get out of the pool because I was getting cold. He said he would let me get out if I didn’t take my hand away for a count of five, and before I could say no, he put my hand again on his erect penis. This time I didn’t pull away. After all the diving and the contact, I think I was curious in a way about it—how long and how hard it really was.”
“He started counting ‘One’ … unconsciously my fingers tried to encircle it, but couldn’t … ‘Two’ … Doug let go of my wrist and my hand stayed right there … ‘Three’ … my hand squeezed and I gasped at how hard it was … ‘Four’ … I glided my hand up and down its full length, from the tip to its base. He had stopped counting, but my hand continued to move, slowly move.”
I was in shock. My best friend was describing giving my son a handjob. Shock—but I didn’t freak out, I didn’t jump up—I sat there—in shock.
“Finally, after what seemed a long time, he said ‘Five! C’mon Aunt Gail, I’m going to towel you dry’ and he swam to the ladder and climbed out. He turned to give me a full view of what I had in my hand just seconds before. I swear it had to be twice what Vance has. And Vance, on his best day was NEVER that hard.”
“Gail, what were you thinking?” This was the first time I had voiced anything that could be thought of as judgment. After all, this WAS my son she was talking about. More specifically my son’s penis. Let’s face it, it’s just a penis, right?
“That’s the trouble: I wasn’t thinking; I was reacting. My body was reacting. You know how long it had been, you know what I’d gone through with Vance. I had been fragile to begin with, and now with the twins graduating … It just wasn’t a good time.”
She put her face in her hands and cried. I moved over and hugged her until she stopped. “You don’t have to say any more.”
“But, I want to I want to get it out. As much as I can bear to explain anyway. So Doug climbs out and turns. I looked up at him for a long time. Part of it was looking and part of it was hesitating getting out of the water naked. I knew it was useless to beg for my long-lost bikini.”
“Doug walked to the chaise and got a big white bath towel and came back to the ladder. I was still frozen at the bottom of it. He said ‘I thought you were cold’ and held a hand out to me. I took it and somehow my feet found the rungs. Then, there I was, naked, and facing Doug—naked. ‘Turn around’ he said and I did and then very gently he brushed the towel along my back and over my shoulders. I had my eyes closed like I was in a trance. The cold water and now the hot sun blazing down on me, Doug’s closeness … it was all so intoxicating … I was so confused. I wanted it to stop and I didn’t … all at the same time. Don’t you see?”
I must have been shaking my head “no” because Gail gave and big sigh like she was going to give up. “Then what happened?” I asked—I don’t know why because I wasn’t sure I really needed to know what happened next.
“Doug took his time drying me off: my back, then my arms, then he reached around and dried my stomach and breasts—then, still behind me he reached with the towel down lower …”
She stopped and took another drink of her coffee.
“Lower until I felt his hand brush the towel on my right inner thigh. As quick as I could I changed my stance so my feet were as close together as I could get them. ‘That’s enough, young man’ I told him in my best parenting voice, but he only said ‘Aunt Gail, move your feet apart so I can dry ALL of you’. I did.”
She looked at me, maybe for hope or forgiveness—maybe just for a hint of understanding. I don’t know what my face showed her, but she continued:
“Doug’s hand finished with my inner thigh, and now, on route to the other thigh, rested on my pussy, my naked pussy. All that came between him and me was that towel. He lightly rubbed it back and forth—side-to-side—then with increased pressure he rubbed front to back, then again front to back. My knees went weak, and if he hadn’t had an arm around my waist, I would have collapsed onto the lawn. ‘Aunt Gail, this sun’s getting to you. We’d better go inside’ he said into my ear, then kissed my neck.”
“Then he added ‘Now you dry me’ and he turned me around to face him. ‘Doug, you’re a big boy. Dry yourself’ I told him. He just laughed and handed me the towel. With the sun shining down on his wet body, he looked like a Greek God. He handed me the towel and I gave his shoulders a quick wipe and then his chest. ‘There’ I said and turned to go into the house. ‘You forgot my stomach and legs.'”
“I had been avoiding looking lower than his face, but now I did. That’s when I got my first real view of Doug’s cock.”
The word “cock” made me give an involuntary shudder. I shifted in my chair.
“It must be over eight inches long, and thick, really thick. The head of it is even wider at its start, where the purplish ring surrounds it. I dried his stomach and avoided his penis. ‘My legs, Aunt Gail’ and he put pressure on my shoulders. My knees were weakened to begin with, but there I found myself kneeling in front of your son. I dried one leg, then the other, keeping my head down the whole time. I let my eyes come up and just inches from my face was the tip of his cock. A little bead of fluid was at the end.”
“I stood up and told him ‘Okay, you do the rest’ but he took my hand and said ‘You don’t need the towel for this part’ and put my hand on his hot cock. I made a motion to pull back, but he held me there until I grasped it. I couldn’t believe I was in the middle of my own yard with Doug—Doug who had played there all his life. Now he was playing another game. A game with his stupid Aunt. In a soft voice he said ‘Let’s go inside.'”
Gail’s phone rang loudly on the table and made us both jump. “Hello?” she said into it then listened for a few seconds. Then she looked at her watch. She said, “Oh, Mr. Eldon, I’m so sorry. I’m running late and will be there in five minutes. Just hang on, and I’ll be right there!”
“Client?” I asked, knowing the answer. Gail was a Real Estate agent and had appointments at all hours of the day and evening.
“How could I have lost track of the time? Gotta go!” She finished her coffee and took her cup and mine to the sink.
We walked out to our cars and I asked, “Can’t you tell me what happened next? I mean … anything?”
“No time,” she said, and got in her car.
When Gail was in business mode, she was focused to the max. I got in my car, started it and stared straight ahead, visions of all she had told me swimming in front of my eyes.
That’s when a sharp rap at my window made me jump. It was Gail. She made the motion to roll down the window.
“One thing I WILL tell you,” she said and looked around her.
“Yeah?”
She leaned close and said: “Doug made me cum!”
“WHAT?”
“Your son made me cum harder than I ever did before! EVER!”
*********************************
I turned the pages of my magazine as I sat on the couch in the living room, but I don’t remember a single one. I doubt if any even registered on my brain.
It was stunning enough that Gail was pregnant. Shocking that Doug was the father. But—the way Gail described it—the audacious seduction by my son … THAT was the most shameful of all.
I heard the back door open and slam, my son’s trademark.
“DOUG! In here!” I called.
“I’ve got things to do, Mom!” he called back.
“In here! NOW!”
When Doug rounded the corner, i didn’t look at him the same way. Always before I had seen the same handsome, strong boy I’d raised for 18 years. Now I saw a young man, a man who had sex with a woman his mother’s age, a woman he had known all his life. And, he had gotten her pregnant.
“Yeah, Mom?”
“Sit,” I said.
He sat close and leaned and kissed my cheek, just like always. But it didn’t feel the same. Not after what I had heard that morning.
“I talked with your Aunt Gail this morning.”
“And…?”
“Don’t act all innocent with me. She told me about three weeks ago. About the pool.”
“AWWW! I KNEW IT!” He got up and paced back and forth.
“Sit!” He sat down again.
“I knew she would tell you. Even though we promised each other we would never tell anyone else.”
“This is serious, Doug. What were you thinking. She’s your Aunt, for God’s sake.”
“Not my real aunt, not like yours or Dad’s sister like.”
“That doesn’t make it any better. She’s treated you like her own son your whole life. And now you’ve crossed the line, a very serious line.”
I had to hold back because I had promised Gail I would let HER tell Doug she was pregnant. I had to respect her wishes with something that sacred.
“Aww, Mom, it just happened. That’s all. It just happened.”
“It doesn’t sound like it just happened to me. You don’t get that idea in your head on the spur of the moment.”
“Okay, so maybe for the past couple of years I wondered what it would be like.”
“Wondered what would be like?” I asked, curious about how this all came about.
“Yanno, like I wondered what Aunt Gail looked like naked. I always thought she was beautiful, even when I was real young. But then a few years ago, maybe when I got into high school, I began thinking she was sexy too.”
“Look, all boys have fantasies, but they stay fantasies. You took it too far. Way too far. I can’t believe you did that!”
“It all just kinda fell into place. I’ve looked at Aunt Gail swimming there and she’s bragged about her swimming naked at nights lots of times. So when she told me it was okay for me to swim naked, I just put two and two together when she got into the water. It was a joke to start.”
“It didn’t stay a joke, did it. It led to something that’s outrageous. How did it get so out of hand?”
“Do you really wanna know? Or are you just talking?”
I had heard Gail’s version, but I didn’t know if I’d be too embarrassed to hear any details from my own son.
“Maybe your mother isn’t someone—”
“Oh, so you ask the question and then don’t have the courage for the answer. You only want to accuse me, like it’s totally my fault and don’t want to hear my side of it. FINE!” Doug stormed out of the room and I heard his bedroom door slam.
I waited, thinking over what he had said, and realized I was wrong not to let him talk. I knocked on his bedroom door, “Doug?”
“Go ‘way!”
“I want to hear what you have to say. Please, can I come in?”
I didn’t wait, and opened the door. He was sitting at his desk with his computer. He closed its cover when I entered.
“I didn’t say come in, yanno.”
“I know, but this is important. I want to give you a chance to explain. You know we could always talk about anything.”
“So, are your going to interrogate me, or can I just talk?”
“How about a little of the first, and a lot of the second?” I smiled, and Doug smiled too.
“Yeah, that sounds fair.”
“You were in the pool …” I prompted, to get his story back on track.
“Yeah, and Aunt Gail come down wearing a killer bikini with these things tied on her hips and on her chest. She gets in and we start playing around and I thought it would be my dream come true if we were both naked together. You don’t know how many times I … you know.”
“Masturbated?” From his sheets, underwear, and tissues in his basket, I could well imagine how many times.
“Yeah, so I saw my chance and I pulled the strings on the bottom half and off they flew. And then while she was struggling I grabbed the top too. A few underwater swims gave me what I had imagined all these years.”
“It wasn’t right. Sometimes imagination is better than the real thing, young man.”
“Not in this case. Aunt Gail has a gorgeous body. All of her.”
I admit she did, and now my son was an eye witness to the fact.
“So she won’t get out of the pool now. Too embarrassed or something. But I wasn’t embarrassed, so I got out and starting diving off the side of the pool. I start noticing Aunt Gail is watching me a little bit, and then she stops and gets closer to watch every time I’m facing her.”
“Maybe that’s just your imagination.”
“No way. And get this: she’s not looking at my face; she’s looking at my cock. Did she tell you I have a big cock? Even the guys in the locker room admit it.”
“Please, Doug. All guys love to brag.”
“Even Aunt Gail said it was bigger than Uncle Vance.”
I laughed. “From what your aunt has said, that’s not saying much.”
Before I could protest or even react, Doug got up and hooked his thumbs in the waistband of his running shorts and pulled them down to his knees. He straightened up and, without the least tone of shame said: “See!”
I should have turned away. I should have at least closed my eyes. I should have said something. But, I didn’t. The sheer surprise that my own son would do such a thing in front of his mother would have been enough, but added to that was the sight before me:
My son had the biggest penis I had ever seen. Even flaccid, it had to be seven inches long. And—so thick. My husband certainly had nothing to compare to this in his pants.
It must have been only a few seconds of silence, but it felt like way more when Doug said, “Mom? Mom?”
I had been staring at it the whole time. I thought Gail had been exaggerating, but now I thought she underestimated its size.
“What do you think?” Doug’s words brought me back to the moment.
“I think you should be ashamed of yourself—a prank like this. Pull those up this minute.” I tried to sound angrier than I was. Part of me wanted to know what Gail had experienced. Gail had also seen that thing erect, something I would NEVER see.
Doug tugged up his shorts and said, “So Aunt Gail is looking, like you were, and I can tell she’s getting horny.”
“DOUG!”
“Mom! It’s true. You can tell!”
Now I wondered back to when he said “like you were” if he were mistakenly implying …?
“Plus, I’ve heard you and her complain a million times about Dad and Uncle Vance not, shall we say, not paying enough attention to you in the bedroom.”
“Doug—”
“Admit it’s true. So I assumed maybe Aunt Gail was feeling a little neglected and things proved to be true. Simple as that. Aunt Gail needed it and I’m glad I was the one to give it to her.”
“I’m sure your aunt would see it a different way. From what she said, you were very aggressive and—”
“Why would you think I’d lie about her getting horny? Did she tell you how things happened?”
“Only about the pool.”
“Not about on the couch?”
“On the couch?” I’m sure I looked dumbfounded.
“That’s where we did it. On the couch in the living room.”
My mind hadn’t progressed to the fact that they actually “did it.” I knew in order to get pregnant a couple has to “do it” but it never dawned on me that the “coupling” had occurred in deed as well as in abstract concept.
“I’m sure the next time I talk to your aunt, she’ll fill me in on the details. Or maybe I don’t even want to know any more.”
“So,” Doug said, “you wouldn’t want to … like watch it?”
“What?” That seemed to be my favorite word today. So much that needed further explanation because my mind was totally blown.
“I have a video of when we did it,” he said as if he were telling me he changed the channel on the TV.
“Does your Aunt know you recorded it?”
“I didn’t record it, she did. Actually maybe it’s Uncle Vance that did technically. But, no, she doesn’t know I have it.”
“I don’t understand this at all. Explain, please.”
“You know Uncle Vance has a home security system, right?”
I nodded.
“Well, there are two cameras in the living room. Aunt Gail, while cleaning had unplugged them and put them, as it turned out in just the right spots. For me, that is. She thought they were off while unplugged, but I explained they had a battery that kept them going. Luckily their internet was down that day, or Uncle Vance would have been able to check in on his phone and really get and eyeful.”
“So you got video from those cameras?”
“Yeah. After we were done, I explained to Aunt Gail that the cameras had recorded us. She was all upset, but I told her all I had to do was erase the memory cards in them using my computer in my backpack. So, even while she was watching, I copied the files before erasing them.”
“So you KEPT them?”
“Yeah, I edited the two cameras together so I got the best parts of each and made one video. I watch it every once in a while. It gets better all the time.”
I imagined Gail would be mortified if she knew a sex tape, of all things, existed of her … of her and her best friend’s 18-year-old son.
“You have to destroy it. Right now!”
“Mom! I want to keep it. Besides, I could tell you I did and have it copied in a million places. So … do you want to see it or not? It will answer lots of your questions. I have it right here on a USB drive. Even you know what that is.” He held up a ruby red piece of plastic.
“Don’t treat me like I’m dumb. And, NO, I DON’T want to see it. NEVER!” I got up and stomped out of his room, slamming the door behind me.
I walked down the hall and into the kitchen. Then I stomped back to his room, gave a loud knock and just stuck my hand in. When I felt something pressed into my palm, I pulled back and closed the door.
It was ruby red.
******************************
“Thinking about what you want for a graduation gift?” Ned asked. “That set of golf clubs you were talking about are pretty sweet!”
Ned was proud of our son and was looking forward to the next phase of his life as he left our small town for college and the big city.
“I’m pretty sure about what I want. I’ve been thinking of it for a long time, and I have a few more things to weigh before I tell you.” He took a bite of food off his plate and smiled at me, like I knew what he meant (which I didn’t).
“Nothing’s too good for my boy. How many times have I told you that, Cyndy?”
“Just about every night, Ned.
Ned was a good father. He loved Doug as much as a father could. He loved having him around, a child in the house. For years we had tried to have another, but it never happened. Work and some health problems had gotten in his way, and our love life had gone from okay, to routine, to sporadic, to nonexistent. It had been over two years since we “made love.” If Gail hadn’t been experiencing similar complaints, I would have thought I was the exception.
“Anything exciting happen today?” Ned asked.
“I showed Mom something exciting that surprised her,” Doug said while suppressing a laugh.
“And what was that, Cyndy?”
“Doug thought he saw a woodcock, but I think it was a cuckoo!” I laughed, pleased at my own quick wit. Even Doug made a face, then laughed.
“Birds, eh? Real exciting stuff happening around here. The only exciting thing in the office is this charity raffle.” Ned pulled out a ticket from his wallet and handed it to me.
I read: “For the benefit orphaned children. First prize: Dinner and overnight stay at the Hotel Cielo.”
“That’s a four star hotel. Love to win that and spend a romantic night away. Wouldn’t that be nice for a change, Cyndy?” He poked Doug and said, “Sorry, no kids allowed. Dinner, some dancing, and then I turn on the ol’ charm, if you know what I mean!”
If charm is falling asleep in front of the TV by 8:30, then yes, Ned, I know what you mean.
“When are you going to teach me that charm magic, Dad? Yanno, pass it along down the line so I can be lucky enough to marry someone like Mom?”
“Luck has nothing to do with it, son. Afraid you either have it or you don’t!” He laughed. We all laughed.
If there was any charm in the family, then Doug had recently proved he had it. Just ask Gail.
“Let’s hope you win!” It would be great if it was like Ned said. A night of romance—but who was I kidding. I’d end up sitting there in bed reading as usual, bored stiff.
“Mom, did you watch that video?”
I nearly spit out my food. “Haven’t had the chance.” I gave Doug my evilest eye.
“Anything I’d like?” Ned asked.
“Naw,” Doug said. “Mom told me you weren’t interested in stuff like that anymore.”
“Far be it from me to disagree with your mother. She knows me best.”
Doug helped clear the dishes and I whispered, “You think you’re funny, don’t you?”
“Lighten up, Mom. You’re too serious. I was just having fun with Dad.”
“Just remember to respect him. Being a father is a big responsibility.” Little did my son know that he too was a father. A father-to-be.
******************************
Doug went out with his friends, and as I had predicted, Ned was asleep in his recliner.
I propped up my pillow on the bed, plugged my earbuds into my laptop, and then fitted the thumb drive into the USB port. I double clicked the icon and saw a video file. Double clicked that.
The player came up and showed Gail’s living room. A pretty good color image, considering it was just a security camera.
Then voices started:
Gail said, “Okay, Doug, we have to stop. This isn’t right. What would your mother think?”
“Of you or me?” then he laughed.
They came into view—both NAKED. They must have just come inside from the pool Gail’s hair was still obviously wet. That was the only hair that was wet—she had a completely shaved pussy. I had a full bush—black.
The other obvious thing was that my son had a raging hardon.
“Oh my god!” I said out loud. “It’s huge.
They faced each other and Doug tried to kiss Gail. She turned her head and said, “This had gone far enough, in fact too far.”
From what Gail had said, Doug had found Gail’s weakness. He took her hand and placed it on his hard cock. He didn’t even have to force her at this point. She closed her fingers around it and said:
“It’s so hard. I can’t believe how big it is.”
Doug tried to kiss her again, and this time she let him. They kissed some more, and all the while Gail’s hand was massaging up and down Doug’s shaft in slow and gentle movements.
“We have to stop,” Gail said. Doug kissed her and then tried to stick his tongue in her mouth. She resisted for a moment and then opened her mouth. It wasn’t long before her tongue seemed to be exploring also.
I was barely breathing, hypnotized by my best friend, my lifelong friend, making out naked with my son.
It was Doug who broke the kiss and lowered his head. “NO! I SAID NO!” Gail shouted just before Doug sucked in her left nipple.
A loud “OOHHH!” escaped her lips. Her free hand went to the back of my son’s head, caressing it and pressing it harder against her naked tit.
“Doug’s sucking Gail’s tits!” I again was giving an audible play-by-play in my bedroom.
Doug went from one breast to the other. There were no more protests during this phase.
Gail’s hand never left Doug’s cock. “So big … so big!” she crooned a few times.
“Bigger than Uncle Vance?”
There was that male this, that dominance thing.
“Are you kidding. This is twice your uncle.”
“So how will it feel inside you?”
THAT shook her out of her stupor. She let go of Doug’s penis and said, “That is NOT going to happen. I’m a married woman. I’ve always been faithful to your uncle and that’s not going to change!”
A phone rang. Gail said, “That has to be your uncle checking in. SSSHH!”
She came near the camera and picked something up. It must have been on the coffee table she has there. That’s where the camera must be resting also.
“Hi Vance,” she said with her cheery voice. “Yes, got all the chores done just like you wanted.”
“HI UNCLE VANCE!” Doug shouted.
“Yeah. That’s Doug. He helped out and did all the yard work. Your uncle says ‘thank you.'”
I wondered how much he would thank my son if he saw what was going on.
Doug had worked himself around behind Gail and pressed his boner against her butt cheeks so it rode up between them. He encircled her waist with one arm.
She tried to shake him off, but couldn’t while trying to maintain a conversation with her husband.
Doug’s other hand weighed and rubbed each breast, then drifted down her stomach. Gail’s free hand tried to stop him, but he eventually reached her crotch. And Gail’s hand fell away.
Doug’s middle finger worked front to back a few times, then neatly disappeared.
My son was fingering Gail. He had his finger inside her vagina.
Gail’s head went back and her mouth opened but no words came out. Until she said, “Please … please.”
Doug let her go and she turned her back to the camera and finished talking with Vance. Doug reached down to the camera and turned it toward the couch. The coffee table was just a few feet from the couch.
That’s when the video changed shots to another camera that must have been in the bookcase behind the couch. It showed Doug turn the other camera, and gave a shot across the room of Gail.
Doug sat on the couch. You could see him from the shoulders up.
Gail finished her call and lay the phone down on the coffee table. “That wasn’t fair.”
“Come sit with me,” Doug said.
“No. We’re done. That was my husband for God’s sake. I’m on the phone with him and you’re messing around like that!”
“Come sit with me, just for a minute.”
“No.”
The camera switched back to the one on the coffee table and showed Doug sitting there still with a massive hardon.
“You’re not going to leave me like this, are you. Don’t you want to see me cum?” Doug asked.
“I can’t do that.”
“You’ve already had your hand on me,” Doug reasoned. “Just a few more strokes
“Just a few more? Are you sure?”
“Just a few more. Looking at you and feeling you has got me almost cumming. Please finish what you started.”
There was rustling and Gail came into view. She started to sit next to Doug, but he said, “Let me suck your tits one more time and pulled her in front of him. she leaned over and he sucked one then the other, then pulled her off balance so she fell forward and had to catch herself by placing a knee on either side of Doug’s hips.
Gail now was straddling Doug. He continued to suck her tits. She struggled to get up for a second then looked to the ceiling and enjoyed the moment.
Doug reached around and began massaging her buttocks, pulling and kneading them.
“We have to stop. This is dangerous,” she said.
Doug pulled her lower and she slid until she was sitting on his stomach as he slouched. His penis now was nestled between her butt cheeks. The movements of his hips drew it down and then back up. Then again.
“Please … no … don’t.” But she wasn’t trying to get away.
The angle must have been dragging her pussy across the base of his cock, pubic bone, and public hair. Her hips started small movements of their own. These increased in range and speed.
Doug started kissing her again and it became more and more vigorous.
Gail’s hips glided long movement now, slow and deliberate. She pulsed back and forth, leaving Doug’s cock shiny.
My best friend was bathing my son with her pussy juices.
Doug pulled her buttocks wide and I could see the dark dot of her anus, and below that , the pink hole of her vagina.
Everything was only foreplay until one pull of her hips coincided with just the right angle of Doug’s cock.
That’s when the very tip of it lodged right at the entrance of Gail’s vagina. Both of them stopped moving.
“NOOO! We have to stop! Doug, we can’t go any farther. Please.”
“It’s up to you, Aunt Gail. But … don’t you want to know what I would feel like inside you?”
“Oh my God! Oh my God! Please forgive me!” Gail sobbed.
And she sat herself down on two inches of my son’s penis. “Aaaaahhh!” hissed out of her. She raised herself up and took in about half.
It was really happening. She was going to fuck my son. My son was going to fuck her.
“Oh, Aunt Gail, you’re so tight!”
One more time up and then excruciatingly slowly … down, engulfing the whole length of my boy.
“Doug! Oh Doug. So full … so full!
She rested there, lolling her head back and forth while rocking her bottom in a gyration, as if to accommodate what had just been fed into her.
“Been so long, been so long,” she growled. “You don’t know how good this feels.”
I don’t know if she was talking to herself, to Doug, or to some unknown Gods.
She raised herself all the way off Doug’s gigantic cock and then sat back down. It was an amazing thing to see: the way her feminine hole stretched fantastically to hug tightly against his manhood. I can only imagine the pleasure that pressure was giving my son.
Doug had asked: “Don’t you want to know what I would feel like inside you?” At that very moment when my best friend’s pussy swallowed up my son’s penis—I acutely felt that want.
Doug sucked her tits, those D-cups that dangled and shook and tempted him as she picked herself up and drove herself down again and again. Doug’s fingers dug cruelly into her buttocks as he pulled her onto himself while tilting his hips upward to meet her every movement. Deeper and deeper into his aunt’s body.
Every once in a while, Gail would stop, fully engulfed with cock, and grind her pussy against Doug. I can only imagine that she found some angle that punished her clitoris against his pubic bone, giving her and extra jolt of ecstasy.
That’s when she would scream: “YES! OH YES!”
She did this three separate times.
Doug’s face was a mixture of grimace and wonder. At one point, as if he couldn’t believe it, he said: “I’m fucking you! Aunt Gail, I’m fucking you!”
All Gail’s previous inhibitions about “We can’t do this” and “We’ve gone too far” and “No, I’m a married woman” must have evaporated with the heat of my son’s dick, because she screamed in reply:
“FUCK ME! DOUG! DOUG! PLEASE FUCK ME … HARDER!”
And Doug complied. He forced himself to greater speed and greater depths into her fertile womb (we know she was fertile, don’t we?) , spurred by her shrieking pleas.
Now the camera changed to the one on the bookcase behind the couch. Gail’s face had been away from the camera on the coffee table, but was clear with this view. And I soon knew why Doug had chosen this shot.
Gail blonde hair whipped as she shook her head and chanted: “OH GOD! OH GOD! OH GOD!”
Then she said: “Almost! Almost! YEESS! Almost!”
That’s when she kissed Doug hard on the mouth, then tore herself away from his face to shout to the ceiling: “I’M CUMMING! OH MY GOD! I’M CUMMING LIKE THAT! THERE! I’M CUMMING!”
Her face had shown a mixture of rapture and pain. I had never seen my friend’s face take on the extent of those contortions before.
My son had sexually satisfied a woman.
The camera changed back to showing Doug’s face. That same woman was about to sexually satisfy my son—with one surprise that I would never have expected.
Gail’s orgasm triggered Doug’s own. Right after her screams echoed through the house, Doug emitted six or seven AAAHHH’s and I knew each one of them had to be accompanied by a gooey, hot, high-pressured squirt of potent sperm and semen in the direction of her womb.
What was surprising was that in the middle of my son cumming into my friend, he squeezed his eyes shut and yelled: “MOM!”
My mouth hung open.
Gail collapsed onto Doug and they remained motionless for a long time. They were covered in sweat.
I not only had witnessed sex between my son and my best friend; I had just witnessed her impregnation, the creation of a baby.
******************************
“My ass doesn’t look that fat, does it?”
Gail had finally calmed down enough to watch the video—for the third time!
She had freaked out when I first told her about it, and rushed over. She wanted to destroy it, then she said she would never watch it, then said someday she might watch it, then she said she had to better prepare herself to watch it—then she said: “Play it.”
I had watched it over and over again the night before. Each time I learned something new from it: sometimes about Gail, sometimes about my son—and sometimes about myself.
“Are you kidding? Look at the body on you!”
“I’d still rather have your body. I always thought you were sexier,” she said.
Our bodies were sexy in different ways. Gail was soft and curvy and sensuous. I was longer and leaner and more muscular—a swimmer’s body. She was light with her short blonde hair, and I was darker with super straight long black hair I could hold back in a ponytail.
“I told you Doug made me cum.”
I guess the embarrassment she had first experienced while watching it had worn off after the next five times.
“I could tell. How many times have you begged to be fucked?”
She made a show of thinking it over, then said, “Counting this time—once!”
We both laughed. Whether it was a nervous release or genuine, I don’t know or care. We were still friends. That hadn’t changed even through this.
“I told you your son had a big cock.”
“He showed it to me.”
“What?”
“I thought he was bragging, like all guys do, and he went and just pulled his pants down like there was nothing to it. And, suddenly without any warning, there was my son’s penis. I must have looked stupid staring at it before I recovered and told him to pull his pants up.”
“It wasn’t …?”
“Erect? No. That would have been REALLY weird, being able to have an erection in front of your mother.”
“Speaking of weird, I thought it would have been weirder, you know, between us because …”
“Because you had sex with my son? Because you’re like a second mother to him? Because he made you cum like a rocket?”
“Yeah, because of things along those lines.” We both laughed.
“Let me ask you this: how would you feel if I had sex with your son, Matt?”
“With my little boy, Matt? And, I do say ‘little’ in the most literal way. He’s half your size, still hasn’t been out on a date, the most socially awkward kid I’ve ever seen—he’s a watered-down version of Vance! That should tell you something. I worry about him growing up. He’s a nerd and always has been and always will be. If you had sex with him, I’d feel sorry—for you! But—wait a minute—maybe that would snap him out of his nerdy cocoon. So go ahead, but don’t run to me when he can’t stop crying and calling for his mommy!”
“That reminds me … what did you think when Doug came—”
“I swear I could feel every hot jet of cum filling me up. I ruined three pairs of panties with what flowed out of me later,” she said while shaking her head.”
“So, too much information, and back to where I was before you interrupted—what did you think when Doug came and said “Mom?”
“I didn’t hear anything then. I was zoned out in the heat of the most fantastic orgasm a woman can have. I have never experienced anything like it. I didn’t even imagine there COULD be anything like it. I didn’t think a human body could generate or STAND that kind of pleasure—”
“Back to my question. Now that you’ve heard it on the video, what do you think?”
“Well, it would have been nice to have him acknowledge me as being there participating in HIS pleasure. A little “Aunt Gail!” while he came would have been more appropriate. But, I think it’s a normal thing for younger people to blurt out “Mom!” in times of hurt or stress. So I wouldn’t get all Freudian about it.”
“Yeah … I guess you’re right,” I said.
“So, you’re not mad at me? You can see how—and I’m not trying to say I wasn’t wrong—but you can see how I was seduced, little by little, drip, drip drip, seduced and I wasn’t strong enough finally to say ‘no.’ I have to give your son credit. I mean, he pursued me there with all his charm and sexual attractiveness, but, in the end, he left it my final choice. I can see now when he said ‘It’s up to you, Aunt Gail’ I could have pull up, stopped, stood up, and walked away.”
“And what made you choose not to?”
“Fair question. Earlier, when he asked me ‘Don’t you want to know what I would feel like inside you?’ I couldn’t get that out of my mind. I had to know. More than that, my body had to know. I knew that question would haunt me the rest of my life, and when it came to the moment of truth, I knew I would regret not taking that beautiful boycock deep inside me. Does that make sense?”
It made more sense than Gail could realize. That’s the question that stood out to me too since I had first watched the video. But, in my case, I would never know the answer, and have to make peace with never knowing.
“I understand.” That’s all I could say.
“So you’re not angry with me?”
When I didn’t speak, Gail asked: “Something else?” She knew me too well.
“Well, it’s not normal for a mother to watch her son having sex. That should be something a mother knows is going on, but never has to think about it in more than an overall antiseptic, practical, almost-clinical way. And yet, there I was seeing it all unfold in front of my eyes. How would you feel if you watched Matt having sex?”
“Bewildered! I told you—I don’t think he knows yet what’s between his own legs, let alone a girl’s!”
“So, you know how much I love Doug, and always wanted to give him everything I could. So … eh, why don’t we forget it,” I finally said.
“No, Cyndy. C’mon, say what you’re thinking. You know you can tell me anything, and I can tell you anything.”
“Okay, here it is: I’m not angry, I’m jealous.”
“Jealous? Of me? For having sex with your son?”
“Yeah. For THAT! You gave him something I couldn’t. You gave him such pleasure. Sharing your bodies together. And, he gave YOU something I can never have—that tremendous, thundering orgasm. It’s just the totality of the experience—without getting Freudian about it—that made me feel left out of my son’s life.”
She came over and hugged me the way we’d been hugging for over thirty years. I felt better, especially when she said, “I understand completely.”
Then she had to add, “And you’re wondering what that glorious slab of manhood feels like when it’s poking at your liver from the inside, right?”
We both couldn’t stop laughing. I finally said, “Well, yeah, may be a little!”
Maybe it was more than just a little.
********************************
Gail had a full day of real estate appointments. We decided she would come back when Doug got home from school and we would all sit down together and talk.
“So why is Aunt Gail coming over?”
“Just that she has something to say to you.”
“This isn’t going to be some long lecture is it?” he whined.
“No, nothing like that, Doug.”
“You watched the video?”
“Yes. I watched it last night. Then I show it to Aunt Gail this morning.”
“Oh, I get it, the double kaboom. You both tell me how evil I am about having the video and try to make me feel bad or guilty or … whatever.”
“Nothing like that, Doug. Believe me.”
“What part of the video did you like the best?” he asked, changing tactics.
“There’s no part I liked. That was my son and my best friend doing something that never should have been done. Can’t you see that?”
“You can’t blame just me. You saw Aunt Gail. You saw that she wanted to and decided to say yes to the whole thing.”
“Doug, I understand what happened. I—”
“Did you see Aunt Gail cum? I think that was the best part of it all. That I got her to cum. And she can’t deny it either because it’s right there with her saying it happened.”
“Doug, she’s taken responsibility for what happened. We talked it all over this morning.”
“And you’re not mad at her or anything?”
“No, now enough questions until she gets here.” I knew there would be a whole different coloring of the subject once Gail told him she was pregnant.
“One more question then.”
Okay,” I relented, “one more.”
“Did you ever cum like Aunt Gail did?”
“DOUGLAS!” I only used his full name when really angry or shocked. I was not angry. “I will NOT answer that! You have no right to ask such a question of your mother!”
I was hoping my head wasn’t shaking “no” while I spoke, subconsciously giving away my truthful reply. I had never in my life had an orgasm anywhere near the volcanic proportion of Gail’s. Sometimes I wondered what a real orgasm felt like because of my lifelong puny sexual responses.
“That’s a big ‘NO’ in my book,” he said, reading the truth into it.
To my relief, that’s when Gail knocked and burst into the room. I wondered what the tension would be like between her and Doug.
To my surprise, Gail greeted me then went up and hugged Doug like she usually did.
“Any coffee?” she asked. Again, her as normal. I poured us both a cup.
“Anything, Doug?”
“Nothing. Can we hurry up here, because I’m meeting the guys in a little while?”
“Doug, can you at least be polite, your Aunt—”
Gail held up her hand and said, “If he has someplace to go, he has someplace to go. I’ll make this quick then.”
She stood in front of my son and said, “Doug, I’m pregnant. And before you even ask, yes, I’m sure it’s your baby. And, I just got back from the doctor’s office for my pre-visit. I’ve decided to have an abortion, and it’s scheduled for tomorrow.”
Doug stood there with his mouth open. I stood there with my mouth open. Gail hadn’t mentioned her decision. She had been so much calmer this morning. Such a change from the distraught, blubbering mess of a few nights before. Once she came to terms with what she wanted to do, a burden must have lifted from her.
“Now that I’ve said my part,” Gail finished, “you can go have fun with ‘the guys.'”
She sat down and sipped her coffee.
“Wait! WAIT! Aunt Gail! When were you going to tell me all this? Don’t I get a say in—”
“You had your say a few weeks ago. Now, I have to make a decision about MY body.”
“Mom!” Doug looked to me for help. “Did you know?”
“Gail, are you sure? Can we talk this over?” This was shocking to me. I was completely against abortion because of my upbringing. Gail’s parents were almost hippies, or at least late hippie-ish. Very liberal in all their thought.
“Decision’s made. Done. Don’t try to argue, persuade, cajole, plant a guilt trip, or … whatever else you think might change the mind of a 42 year-old professional woman who’s spent decades building a career and putting twins through college to keep the baby of the 18-year-old high school son of her best friend. Ain’t gonna happen. Period. Which is what I missed and signaled I was pregnant.”
Another sip of coffee.
“You mean right now, right now in your stomach is your baby, our baby, and—”
‘And tomorrow, no baby. Like it never happened. The earlier the easier, and it’s only been a few weeks.”
“Does Uncle Vance know? How can you be sure it’s not Uncle Vance’s?”
“Uncle Vance does NOT know, and will NEVER know. Sex is one thing, and that’s what happened between us. Now are the consequences, and I’m trying here not to shatter all our lives. Do you understand that?”
“But—” Doug tried to edge in.
“Abortion tomorrow. That’s it. And I’m sure it’s not your Uncle’s baby because he had a vasectomy a long time ago. Long before he became impotent. If there’s any clarification you need about the definition of those two words, just say it.”
“Gail, you know how I feel about … you know.” I couldn’t even bear to say the word. Suddenly in my mind, it wasn’t only Gail’s baby, but Doug’s—and my grandchild. Losing it sharpened the focus for me.
Doug burst into tears. I couldn’t remember the last time I saw him cry. “Aunt Gail … Auntie … I’m so sorry. So sorry.”
Gail got up and stood before him, gave him a big hug and hung on with her head on his broad chest.
“It’ll be all right. It’s gonna be all right, Doug. I promise. Something good will come of this. It’ll be all right.”
Doug lowered his wet eyes to her shoulder and sobbed. She let him for as long as he wanted.
“Finally he straightened and said, “I want to be there at least. I’ll go with you tomorrow.”
“People who go along on things like this are either family, friends of a certain age, or the father. You fall into one of those categories—the one I don’t want anyone ever to know outside of this very room right now.”
“I’ll take you,” I said.
“You told me you’d never step inside a place like that.”
“I guess I lied. When it comes to loving you, I’d do a lot worse than lying.”
“Aunt Gail, then at least let me pay for it. I’ve got my own bank account, and—”
“You can pay, but not in money. Your Uncle and I have to go see the twins next week, and while we’re gone, YOU, my dear boy can do all the yard work that’s been neglected since the last time you did it. Is that a deal? It would really help us out.”
“You bet, Aunt Gail. I mean, sure. Whatever it takes.”
Gail winked at me. She had given my son a little worth, a little redemption out of her kind, kind heart.
*****************************
“How is Aunt Gail?” Doug asked.
He had been waiting at the kitchen door, something he never does. That showed me just the level of concern he had. I could see it in his manner and in his eyes.
“Everything went as good as it could go. Except for a few cramps and feeling a little tired, your aunt seemed fine. She just needs to take it easy today and tomorrow.”
“I wish there was something I could do. Something I could say.”
“She knows you love her. That’s what she needs right now. AND, she needs you to keep her secret, so no get well cards or acting strange in front of Uncle Vance or the twins when you see them.”
“Yeah, I get that part. I feel real different about Aunt Gail now that we shared something else. Something so important.”
“I’m glad you do,” I said, and hugged him close. He was a little taller than me, so when I pushed him to arm’s length, I looked up at him a little. “It shows you’re maturing.”
“It’s just that when I think of that there was something alive yesterday, something that was Aunt Gail’s and mine, and now it’s …”
I knew he was taking this hard, so when he hesitated, I said, “Lost.”
“Yeah. Like forever.”
“Doug, let me share something with you. Something important. Now, you know I’m not the kind of person to believe in all sorts of weird psychic stuff or religious fanatics or anything.” I looked at him for some acknowledgement of the fact.
“Mom, you’re always the first one to look for the—”
“The rational, logical explanation behind something. That’s what I always believe. That’s why I wasn’t going to say anything, and maybe shrug it off as my imagination. But, when you and I were just talking, talking about something lost, I knew I had to share this with you.”
I sat down and motioned to the chair next to mine. Doug sat near and I took his hand.
“Today, we got there, and I was way more nervous about this than your Aunt Gail seemed to be. Maybe it was all my beliefs and not ever wanting to go to a place like that, but … I was there to support your aunt, and she ended up being the strong one, the tough one, the good soldier.”
Doug squeezed my hand. It felt good to have him there with me and to be able to talk to him about this. Maybe even more than that—I felt like he HAD to hear this, that it wouldn’t be right if he didn’t hear what I had to say.
“Anyway, I was a mess and on the verge of crying the whole time, especially when I finally had to leave Aunt Gail as they were ready to do the procedure. I’m sitting in the waiting room and thinking of that little life that’s about to be gone. A little life that was tied to your aunt, tied to you, and tied to me. Your aunt was choosing to let go of it, but, even though we had to respect her decision, we—you Doug, and me—weren’t really ready to let go. We weren’t ready to give up on it—that little life.”
“I know, Mom. I was feeling real bad all day. I felt like it was the end of something, but not, all at the same time.”
“Well maybe this will make you feel better. I’m sitting there in the waiting room, almost on the verge of panic with all the negative thoughts I was having and the sterile, businesslike atmosphere there, when all of a sudden, a great big feeling of peace came over me.”
“Peace?”
“That’s the only way I can explain it. It was as if someone was talking to me, not in words, but in a language deeper than that, something that touched my heart … maybe my soul. Even though you know I have all sorts of doubts about things like that.”
“So it was only a feeling?”
“The feeling, I think was just the result. It took me a while, but I think there was a message under it all. I had gone in there thinking there was a life that was being lost. A soul that would never walk this earth. But the message I got was that very soul would find another home, find another way to come to life. So don’t worry. It’ll find a way, the best way. The peace I had received was my being sure it was as true as science. You know I don’t hold much faith in ‘faith’—especially blind faith. But this was as close to that as I’ve ever felt.”
“So you think—”
Tears, happy tears leaked out of the corners of my eyes. “I think that little life was telling me it was going to be okay and was going to find itself in the perfect spot to be born.”
*******************************
I called Gail that night after giving her the whole afternoon and early evening to rest. She had said she was being better than she expected. Not even any cramps and only a little spotty bleeding. She thanked me for going with her and was touched by Doug’s concerns for her and his new sense of responsibility.
I was still immersed in my “all is well” mental state. I had expected it to fade after I took a much-needed nap. I hadn’t realized how exhausted I had become because of the experience.
Doug, on the other hand, was vitalized. He had a certain nervous energy that takes him over when he’s about to start something new … or crazy.
Dinner proved to have another kind of excitement. Ned had an announcement:
“I won the raffle! Of all things! I won! You and me, baby! We’ll have a real wild time at a swanky hotel. So get ready! Wild time!”
I didn’t know whether he was psyching himself up, or delusional. I was happy for him, I guess for us. I could use the night out. With a little kick underneath the table, I had to remind Doug to congratulate his dad.
“That’s great, Dad. I promise not to wreck the house while you’re gone.”
“Right. No wild parties. That’ll be our role! Wild!”
At the end of dinner, Doug asked, “Mom, can you drop by my room later so we can talk?”
I knew we still had a lot of ground to cover and to process before full emotional recovery was possible. But Doug’s tone wasn’t subdued or somber or thoughtful like I would have expected. It was upbeat and positive.
**************************
I waited for Ned’s nightly coma before I made my way to Doug’s room. I knocked and waited for him to say “Come in” as usual. But, instead, the door flew open and he grabbed my hand, pulling me in. Then he looked up and down the hall, making sure Ned wasn’t around, I guess, and gently, noiselessly shut his door.
“Mom, sit down. I’ve got something important to tell you. This is great!”
I sat on the edge of his bed. Usually, he sat in his desk chair facing me when we talked, but tonight, he paced in front of me. Sometimes he talked directly to me, sometimes he talked to the air and waved his hands enthusiastically. Although his voice was totally excited the whole time, he kept his tone hushed, like he didn’t want it to reach any farther than this side of his door.
“What is it, Doug? What can have happened since this afternoon?”
“I thought about what you said is what happened. That, and putting it together with what I had been feeling. Don’t you get it?”
“I obviously don’t, but I’m happy to see you bounce back from the mood you were in earlier.”
“How could I NOT, because this afternoon fixed everything. Well, almost fixed everything. It set up fixing everything. Don’t you see?” He faced me and had put his hands on my shoulders for emphasis when he said the last.
I could only shake my head in bewilderment.
“You said today that you knew that we—you and me—weren’t ready to give up on that little life. Before you said it, I thought I was the only one to feel that. You don’t know how happy I was to know you felt the same way. Get it?”
I only could encourage him to go on with my silence and attention, because I had no idea where he was going with this.
“You said we weren’t ready to let go,” Doug looked into my eyes and slowly said, “so let’s not let go!”
“Doug, I think I know a little bit what you’re saying, but we have to move on and know out there—”
“No, Mom, not out there. You said that little soul … that you felt that little soul would find another home, find a way to walk the earth again. You said it was tied to you and tied to me.”
“What are you saying, Doug?” This was scaring me a little, especially the growing zeal and animation in my son’s manner—and the wild look in his eyes.
“You said that very soul would find another home, find another way to come to life. The perfect home.”
I shook my head. All his words were what I believed because they had somehow been made true that afternoon by my extraordinary experience, but Doug was recounting them, reinterpreting them in a totally different way.
“I think that what happened this afternoon was the right thing to happen. It HAD to happen. Don’t you see? Aunt Gail wasn’t the right home, the perfect home. Don’t you see, Mom? Don’t you feel that now?”
“Doug …” I didn’t know where he was going with this and didn’t know what to say.
“Mom, there’s a way, the perfect way for that baby to find its perfect home. It’s so clear. It’s so easy to correct the mistake. The only mistake was Aunt Gail. She didn’t want a baby.”
“Doug, your aunt was in no position to have another child. She and Uncle Vance were perfectly happy with the twins.”
“I know. All those years she didn’t want another baby. But Mom, YOU DID! Don’t you see?”
“Doug, your father and I just never—”
“Mom, don’t you get it? YOU’RE the perfect place, the perfect home.”
“Doug, talk some sense, please!”
“Okay, so here it is plain and simple: we correct the mistake!” He held his hands palms up in front of him with a big smile on his face like he had obviously just solved the problem.
“Doug?”
“Mom, I want that baby, my baby, to have the perfect home.”
“Doug—what are you saying? You don’t mean—”
“Mom, I want to make love to you! I want to get you pregnant!”
************************
Sleep? What’s that? I tossed and turned all night while Ned barely registered with his breathing. I envied him with blissful—I won’t say ignorance like the old saying, because Ned was a good, if clueless husband—unknowing of the problems swirling around our family.
His son had sex with our oldest friend, my best friend, got her pregnant, and that baby, his grandchild had been aborted, and then his son proposes that he make the situation right by again having sex—but this time with his own mother!
And Ned slept on. I wanted to shake him awake and have him take this problem away from me. But then I’d not only have this problem—I’d have Ned awake, problem number two with his overreactions.
This should have been so easy to solve. A firm and final “NO!” and that’s the end of it. So uncomplicated.
But—it WASN’T uncomplicated. My experience at the clinic, whether it was my imagination or something real outside the comprehension of my human mind made a lot of what Doug had said make sense. Especially since he threw my actual words back at me. But, when he did it, he took all the generalities out of it and made it laser-specific.
Specifically: that new life finding a home by my son impregnating me.
That proposal would have seemed absolutely preposterous a few days before. But, and here’s another complication: I had watched him already impregnate another woman: Gail. So it took the act from improbable imagination to concrete fact: Doug could make a baby; I saw the proof.
AND—seeing that proof brought up another complication—that question he asked: “Don’t you want to know what I would feel like inside you?”
That had tickled at the corners of my perverse imagination before. But, after Doug’s proposal, I thought about THAT a lot. That and seeing Gail cum. I thought about the possibility … Totally out of line and perverse.
Then, I would feel crappy and guilty and start all over again from the beginning and cycle through my fears and worries.
