I found out my wife was cheating. I planned revenge

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I got dressed and think about what to do next. I went down stairs and leave a note that said that I pulled something and was going to hospital and I would call when I knew something.

I go to the Waffle House, I love the food here, and I ate and wait for 9:00 am to call George. I told him I have a big problem, and ask if he wants to meet here or at office.

He said, “Waffle House and you’re buying.”

We both laughed.

“I’ll be there in a few,” he said and hangs up.

I give him the lowdown on what is going on and he is on the phone before I get done. He is telling his buddy to put surveillance in the motel room.

I didn’t tell him about the birth control pills.

Then he called our lawyer and told him to get the paperwork done for divorce on the prenuptial with adultery on her part with papers ready to serve on Wednesday. “Oh and get what you can about alienation of affection without a name.”

Then George calls a doctor friend and asks him to give me a note saying that I had a pulled groin muscle and no lifting and no sexual contact for 2 weeks.

God it pays to have devious friends.

We look at each other and both burst out laughing.

He started eating, and I am drinking my coffee, when he gets an evil glint in his eye, picks up the phone and waits then I hear him say, “Hello Sue this is George I need to talk to Frank we have an emergency at the Texas location, all the backups are off line. He set that unit up so I think he needs to go there.” Then there was some hum and uh and oh. Then he said, “We can send some young buck to do lifting and help him get around but his mind is what is needed there.”… then, “Yeah, I tried his cell first but in the hospital they tell you to turn it off.” …a hum or two, “Ok have him give me a call as soon as he gets home thanks,” and hung up.

I said, “I am in the presence of greatness.”

Both of us said and acted out, “He sees the idea ripe on the tree; he reaches up plucks it, and puts it in his pocket.”

We both laughed.

We made the plans to tell her I would be back Wednesday night at the earliest.

I had to do a lot of financial things Monday morning and be ready to have everything split by Wednesday afternoon. My pal George arranged for a locksmith to change the locks on the house Wednesday noon.

The house was mine before we got married, and I will get to keep it.

He also told me how to deal with my soon to be ex-wife, “Go home tell her what the doctor said show her the note and let her tell you about having to take the trip. Then call me and we will get you out of there swiftly with a suitcase and we stop in your home office and get all the papers you’ll need.”

I look at him and said, “Did I ever tell you you’re my best friend?”

We smile at each other and both said “I love you, man!”

I start moving, visiting George’s doctor friend getting the note, and some other running around.

Then I head home, I pulled in to driveway and parked and started walking to the house like my one leg is stiff and limping and grimacing in pain.

I get in the door my wife was all over me, “Honey are you ok? Oh my god what happened? Sit down and tell me. Do you want some coffee?”

I sat and spun a yarn about slipping in tub and going to the hospital. She started fussing over me, and then told me about George’s call and I groan.

I took out cell and acted like I am turning it on. I forgot to turn it off. I called George and I am acted like it is a business call. George was telling me a joke about a woodpecker playing with his pecker and getting wood.

I snorted and almost laughed, and said “I will see you in a little bit.”

I looked at my wife and said, “It looks like I am going out of town for a bit, can you get a suitcase ready for me or at least open it on the bed I am not suppose to lift anything.”

She is gave me all the B.S., do you think you should go your hurt and all that. Like she cared, or something.

I said, “I have to.”

She ran upstairs; I grabbed my brief case and went in the office and load up all the papers and laptop. Then I went upstairs limping and groaning

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