Wife with the boy next door and isn’t happy

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“This isn’t for us,” shouted James, but the guy was already gone. He looked at the label again. It was the correct address but was for a Mrs Valerie Turner, a name he didn’t recognise. He put it on the side, figuring it was probably for one of his mother’s friends who preferred it to be sent here, so James could take delivery of it, rather than leaving it on the front step all day. Fair enough, he thought, but at least let me know to expect a delivery.

He was at the top of the stairs when there was another knock at the door. This time he descended with far less enthusiasm. He was not interested in running up and down the stairs all day to collect packages that weren’t even his.

So, when he opened the door ready to meet another delivery man, he was stunned to see his neighbour standing in front of him.

“Hi,” she said, “I live next door.”

“Hi,” said James, taken aback by her sudden appearance and friendly demeanour, her body clad in the same skin-tight yoga outfit as before.

“I just got this message on my phone,” she continued, “saying that a package had been left for me, but I couldn’t find it. I was hoping it might have been delivered here by mistake?”

His mind went blank and he couldn’t think of anything to say, so said nothing.

“Sorry, where are my manners? I’m Valerie.” With that, she held out her hand and he shook it, feeling her soft skin on his. Still, his mind wasn’t working. “You must be James?”

“Uhh, yes,” he stammered, struggling to get a hold of himself.

“Is that perhaps…?” She said, pointing to the box on the side.

“Valerie Turner?” he said, picking up the box and inspecting it as if he’d never seen it before.

“That’s me,” she said, giving a flash of her perfect teeth behind a beautiful smile, a few small lines on either side making it even better, more real.

“It’s got the wrong address,” he said as he handed it over.

“Oh dear,” she said, inspecting the label. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s alright.” He said, about to close the door.

“I was wondering,” she said, and he stopped, “if I could ask you a little favour?”

“Sure,” he said, unsure where this was going.

“You see, I’ve ordered a few things for my husband’s birthday and I guess I must have put the wrong address somewhere, I’m terrible with computers. Anyway, I’d normally get him to change it, but I don’t want him to know what I’ve bought him. So I was hoping you could maybe pop over when you have a minute and take a look for me?”

“Yeah, sure,” said James.

“Thank you so much. I’m sure I won’t be able to do it myself, and I’m sure you don’t want me disturbing you every day, popping up unannounced.”

She said it with a smile, but James couldn’t help but detect some bitterness in her tone. If he didn’t know any better, he’d have thought she was pissed he didn’t watch her through the window yesterday. And the words. Popping up unannounced. It was a bit of a weird way to word it.

But no, that was ridiculous. He had to get those sorts of things out of his head. That’s what comes from watching too much porn.

“I’m free now, if you’d like?” He said.

“That would be wonderful,” said Valerie. “Hopefully we can get it sorted before the others are sent out.”

James wasn’t sure that was going to happen, but he was happy enough to help. It was something different to do, at least.

***

It was strange entering the house again. Everything looked the same and different at the same time. The walls, the decoration, the style, it was exactly as he remembered it, even the indent on the door where he had run into it, head first, as a kid. But everything else was different. Different furniture, different photos of different people. A whole different vibe.

“We moved in quite quickly,” she said, as if by way of an explanation. “We didn’t have time to redecorate before as the people who bought our old house were desperate to move in. But, you know how it is.”

“Right,” said James, not having a clue how it is.

She led him upstairs and into Angela’s old room, which was now a sizable home office.

“Please,” she said, “take a seat.” So James took the seat in front of the computer, the only one in the room. He pressed a button and the black screen sprang to life.

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