Impregnating My Aunt

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Honestly, I don’t think she even realized she said that last bit. She mumbled it more than actually enunciate. Aunt Liz was looking more and more annoyed.

“Even if I could get the money, Ted won’t cooperate. I thought about secretly bringing some of his stuff to the clinic myself, but I couldn’t make the logistics work. So… I have come up with another solution. That’s where you come in. I hope.”

“Yeah, I’m still not clear on…”

“Listen. I’ve thought it all through. I just need a sperm donor… and then I’ll do the actual ‘lab work’ myself. It should be easy! You’d come to my house, spend some time in the bathroom and… you know. Get your stuff out. I’ll have little bottles or cups ready from the pharmacy… You just put it in one of those, then you give it to me and I’ll do what the doctor would be doing. I’ll get those little plastic syringes or something and just… inject it myself. I might have to plan it a bit more first, but I’ll find a way to make it work. You see? It’s the same thing. I just need the donor!”

I sat still for a minute, thinking. It sure sounded like she’d been thinking about this for a while. There was one thing I still wasn’t clear on, though:

“I still don’t quite understand… why not just divorce him if this is so important to you? I mean, we all like having you as part of our family and all, but… it’s about your happiness too, right?”

“I know… I have… actually thought about it. It’s just… I don’t have much of an education, nor much money… Where would I go? What would I do? I guess I’m just not brave enough to leave everything and start a new life like that. I think… I guess that would probably be my fall-back. If this doesn’t work.”

“Well, have you thought about… adoption?”

“No.” she said firmly.

“No?”

“No, Ben. No.”

Her eyes shot daggers at me. The mere suggestion seemed to piss her off. It was difficult for me – a man – to understand the desire a woman can feel for something like this. I did understand, though, that I shouldn’t even have brought it up. I quickly returned to the previous discussion.

“So why me? Why not… somebody else?”

“Well, like I said, I can’t afford to go the official route, and I’d really like to be sure about the man I’d be using for this. Someone I know is trustworthy; someone I know has the right features… and also: someone I can trust to keep a secret. I need… I need you. I need your help. I need someone dependable, someone I can trust to do this for me. To help me with the most important thing that will ever happen in my life.”

I felt flattered. She went on:

“You and I are not blood related, but it’s close enough between you and Ted that nobody would check. You don’t look too different, you have the same blood type…”

“How do you know that?” I interrupted her, surprised.

“Please. Remember that time we were all looking at each other’s licenses to laugh at how silly we look in the photos on them? Yeah, what I was actually doing was checking to see if your blood type was on there. You’re not the only one who’s got smarts, you know.”

“Oh, I didn’t say…”

“You also don’t have any allergies or hereditary diseases…”

“Wait, what? How do you know that?”

She smiled cheekily.

“Your mom is a real talker. It wasn’t hard. Get her started on her family and she’ll talk your head off. Normally, I guess people don’t really listen that intently. But I did. I pretty much got your whole medical history.”

“Uhm…”

I could feel myself blushing. And her next battery of questions made it even worse.

“You don’t have any STDs, have you? Have you had many sexual partners? Would you get checked for me?”

I felt my cheeks burn as they went red as tomatoes. Liz sat still and seemed to actually wait for my response, so I couldn’t just laugh it off either.

“Ehm… no… well, I’ve…”

She was still waiting. Patiently. Her face looking genuinely curious, in need of an answer.

“I’ve had sex some times… Just with one person. She…”

“Irina, right? Your girlfriend for… how long?”

“Yeah, we were together for about three years. We went to the same university for a while, but then she moved. That’s when we broke up. So…”

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