Hello, this is the first time I am posting here so please bear with me. I have been an avid reader on this site for ages and I felt it was only fair that I too share a story. Fair warning, this is not going to be a wham bam thank you ma’am kind of story, so be advised. Also all names have been changed for good measure.
This is a story of the year 2005, when my cousin brother and I moved from Delhi to Pune for our 11th – 12th standard studies. We got placed in different colleges via the centralized admission form system of Pune University. The two of us rented a 1bhk apartment on the outskirts of Pune because the ones in the city were expensive. We had each bought second hand bikes and didn’t mind the daily ride into the city, or rather we enjoyed it. I started fancying a girl in my class since the very early days in college but being from convent boys only school, could never muster the courage to talk to her.
Let me tell you a little about her before we dive into the story – Her name was Rashmi. She was a gujrati. She was fair, about 5’4”, slim, and proportionately endowed. She wore spectacles. Her dressing was always the same – long kurti and leggings. Only later as our story progresses will we be able to see her in denims and t shirts. She always had an aura of confidence and style. Very minimalistic make up with usually long stylish ear rings hanging almost up-to her shoulders. All in all she was super cute.
Now back to the story. To cut a long story short we came in contact through my friend who had moved into her neighborhood about six months after we joined college. Slowly we became good friends. It was five of us – Rashmi, Neha (Rashmi’s best friend), Rahul (the guy who moved into Rashmi’s neighborhood), Imran and me. We started having lunch together and going on small trips to nearby places whenever possible. Anywhere we went, we always made it a point to return before dark because Rashmi’s and Neha’s parents were very strict and had very strict instructions about them being home before dark. I could still not gather any courage to let anyone know about my crush on Rashmi although I always looked for excuses to look at her light pinkish lips dreaming about how they tasted. That year passed without incident. The next year Rashmi and I started bonding a little more since we were the only ones in the group having cell phones. What I must point out here is that cell phones were only just beginning to enter the market on a large scale. I had one so that my parents cud contact me and she had one simply because she was from an extremely well to do family and her parents gifted it to her when she topped the 11th standard exams. We started texting each other. At first it was only forwarded jokes and stuff. Slowly we started talking to each other mainly via text messages about our lives and what we wanted from it. We got to know each other pretty well through this. The more I got to know her, the more I fell for her.
Around the mid of our second year I confessed my feelings for Rashmi to Rahul. His first reaction was – “ye sahi hai, Imran aur Neha toh couple ban hi gae hain (a different story for some other time), tu aur Rashmi bhi lag ja, uske baad mujhe bhool jaana tum log”, but later he encouraged me to go ahead and talk to Rashmi. He also cautioned me to be careful because she was from a very conservative family and me confessing to her might break us apart. I contemplated a lot about what he had said and finally decided to tell her. I texted her to meet me at CCD behind our college after classes and told her that I had something very important to tell her and asked her not to say anything to our friends about this. I must point out here that in the entire period of time that we had known each other this was the first time just the two of us were meeting. She grew suspicious but agreed.
As soon as the waiter brought us our coffees, I said to her – “I don’t know how you will take this, and I don’t know how else to put it, so ill say it right away – I like you and want to be with you”.
She was shell shocked. She didn’t say anything for what felt like eternity. I was trying to maintain eye contact with her but it was difficult because I had absolutely no idea of what to expect. When finally she spoke I felt relief that the tension was broken, although it wasn’t something I wanted to hear.
Rashmi – “we are friends Avinash, more than friends even, but I have never thought of u in that way. Aur waise bhi meri family bahot strict hai and woh is love shove ko kabhi except nahi karenge.”
Me – “yahan main problem kya hai? Is it your parents not excepting or is it that u don’t like me in a more than friends sort of way?”
Rashmi – I don’t know.
That was that. We left CCD and went our different ways. Her saying I don’t know gave a sense of hope and despair at the same time. Late that night she texted me saying let’s go to some quite place and talk tomorrow because we cannot leave things as they are. The next morning we arrived at college she parked her activa and got on my bike and I drove us out of the city to a place where I had gone a few times. It was a small clearing of sorts on top of a hill, with a huge banyan tree in the center. During the evenings this place was busy with students and vendors selling tea and snacks but at this time, in the morning it was practically empty. We sat near the tree on a bench overlooking the cliff. When we were settled she said to me – “Look, I thought a lot about what u said yesterday. What I think is let’s not ruin what we have between us. We have a special bond but let’s not go further……” I was about to speak when she stopped me saying “please let me finish what I have to say” I became quite and listened.
Rashmi – “As I was saying we have become very close. But I have never thought of u as anything more than a good friend – before now. Now that you’ve made me think about it, I must admit, it makes sense. We know each other better than anyone else. And we like each other. But I have been brought up with a golden rule and that is – boys and girls in our community do not get into love marriages. Our marriages are arranged by our parents and that is final. So let’s not complicate our lives.” All this while she was sitting facing the cliff and I was looking at her. Suddenly she turned towards me and said “can we manage that?”
All I cud do was nod in the affirmative. There was nothing I cud say. Nothing I cud do to change her mind. She was adamant and knew exactly how she wanted to approach this situation and I grudgingly had to respect that.
Although I didn’t think it possible, things actually went back to normal after that, better than normal in-fact. We started texting even more. Now I had started actually flirting with her and she always took it jokingly. I used to ask her for good night kisses and her response was always – “u wish” followed by a smiley face sticking it’s tongue out. Even when we went anywhere with our friends she sat with me on my bike which was not the case before me confessing my feelings to her. In fact we started going on trips – just the two of us.
A few months later, we had gone for one such trip and were returning when it started raining. She was wearing denims and a white top that day. We were drenched and her white top had become a little see through. I cud see that she was very embarrassed.
Me: Dekh, mera flat paas main hai. Wahan chalte hain, we can dry ourselves there and ill drop u once the rain stops, or ill get u a taxi. Aesi halat main u cannot go anywhere.
