At the start off the Covid-19 pandemic in the U. S., I, Jim Young, had been married to my wife Lisa Montrose (her father talked her into keeping her maiden name when we married, and I had no objection) for eleven years and we had two kids, seven and nine years old. I was working in the IT field while Lisa worked in local government in Northern Virginia.
A lot of background isn’t necessary to understand my story although a few titbits about Lisa’s family are significant.
Lisa is very close to her father Winston (who has never liked me), is also close to her mother Crystal who is divorced from her father, and hates her stepmother Karen. Karen is considerably younger than Winston, only about three years older than Lisa and I are, and Lisa thinks that Karen is a gold-digger; deep down inside I think that Lisa doesn’t like Karen because Karen is really good-looking but has a bad self-image (or at least she did have). Surprisingly Crystal and Karen got along much better than Lisa and Karen do; in fact they are friends.
I get along well with both Crystal and Karen, but detest Winston as much as or more than he detests me. I consider Winston an asshole and blowhard and don’t like how he treats either Crystal or Karen, and he dislikes me primarily because I stand up to him and have chastised him to his face for the way that he treats Crystal and Karen. If he could kick my ass he would — but he can’t if for no other reason than I’m twice as strong as he is and he’s no martial arts expert.
Despite the fact that I like Karen I have a problem with her. She’s too goddamn sexy. Everyone has different features of the opposite sex that they’re attracted to; Karen has every one that rings my chimes. I wish that she had a miserable personality so I could write her off, but she is kind and intelligent. I could never figure out how that asshole Winston convinced her to marry him three years ago. Despite my lust for Karen I do believe that I’ve properly hidden it from everyone.
Since most of the IT work I do is for a consulting firm that specializes in helping restaurants and retail establishments, predictably once lock-down orders were issued I was laid off. While our family is fiscally responsible we didn’t have the savings to make it for more than about six months without at least some monetary contribution from me so I started looking for other jobs that would pay decently (though obviously not as much as my IT job) while still allowing me to at least help out with home schooling the kids. It seemed that most of the jobs that became available related to dealing with the pandemic, and the type that appealed to me was contract tracing.
Contact tracing is part of the process of supporting patients with suspected or confirmed infections. The jobs have long existed for all infectious diseases (particularly STDs) but in view of the Covid-19 pandemic there was now much greater demand. Typically, during the pandemic, a “contact tracer” works with those who test positive for the novel coronavirus to help them recall everyone with whom they have had close contact during the timeframe they may have been infectious. The contact tracer then warns the exposed individuals (contacts) of their potential exposure as rapidly and sensitively as possible without identifying the person who is infectious, and gets the potentially exposed contacts tested for Covid-19. It can help to have an IT background in performing contact tracing since much of the work is done electronically (including utilizing cellphone and social media data), especially for patients who don’t seem to be honest in disclosing everyone they have had close contact with, therefore I was hired within a couple of days of when I applied.
My training for contact tracing was relatively short and expedited because of the need and because I had a good aptitude and background for it, so I started working within two weeks of when I was hired. I found that it was a rewarding job especially when contacts were tested and caught early so that their chances for recovery were enhanced. It was sad to see some contacts or patients die, but since I’m not actually a healthcare worker I didn’t have to experience that pain close-up.
–δ–
Things went along fairly smoothly for my family for about two months. Lisa said that she still had to go into the office occasionally, and I had to do some field work too, but we were able to do most of our work at home using Skype, Zoom, phone calls, texts, emails, and other forms electronic communications. We staggered our schedules so that 95% of the time at least one of us was home with the kids, and we switched off on home-schooling them, using the resources provided by the school that our kids went to. Often three of us were on our laptops at the same time, and sometimes all four of us.
The 5% of the time that one of us wasn’t with the kids either Crystal or Karen — both of whom are local and stayed six feet away from the kids — would take over just to have someone at our house in case of an emergency.
Our life was happy, under the pandemic circumstances, especially since Lisa and I were home more often together, and there was something about the situation that made it exciting. “We could pretend that we’re one of only a few couples stranded on Mars and we have to populate the planet,” she giggled one night as she came to bed naked. “I need your big dick in my unprotected womb right now,” she growled.
I knew that she was “protected,” since I saw the bill for his last Depo-Provera shot only two weeks earlier but I played along. “I think that I need to eat your pussy to get it properly warmed up,” I growled, “to be sure that you’re ready to receive my seed.”
After her second orgasm courtesy of my tongue and fingers I mounted her, buried my hog in one push resulting in a long, sustained, groan from her, and proceeded to deposit one of my largest loads ever in her pulsating pussy. She muffled her scream with a pillow and I grunted like a Neanderthal having experienced one of my most intense and long-lasting orgasms ever.
That is our life was as happy as it could be in the pandemic until two days after the epic love-making session described above when I was assigned John Upton as a patient.
I was dissatisfied with John’s responses when I talked to him over the phone; I could tell that he was holding back. I stressed to him the importance of being straight with me and made arrangements to meet him personally.
When I met John it was outside in a park, spaced seven feet from each other. I didn’t have complete PPE on but did have a virus-killing mask, gloves, a face shield, and a paper smock. He had a mask on too, so I couldn’t get a good look at his face, but I thought that I recognized his eyes. It turned out that he worked in the building next to Lisa’s so I may have seen him in that area.
We talked for a while and I was starting to wear him down to get him to tell-all. The final statement that pushed him over the hump was “If you don’t tell me about someone and later it is found out that they died from Covid-19 when they could have been saved if they were treated earlier it will turn into a police investigation and you could be charged with manslaughter.”
I have no idea whether or not that statement was correct, but I figured that it might be so I had no qualms in telling him that if it got him to open up.
After a pause where he stared at the ground Upton looked up and said “Now everything I say is confidential, right; all you can do is tell someone to get tested and that I’m not the source.”
“Absolutely,” I replied, because that is the way it is supposed to work.
When he finally did open up he became a regular chatty-Kathy. After he gave me a list of about ten people and his relationship and last contact (the exact date if possible) with each of them, and their contact information to the extent that he knew it, he stopped. I could tell there was more.
“Look, John, I know that you’re hiding something; things will remain confidential so I need to have the information. Remember what I said about a police investigation,” I chided.
Upton sighed then without looking me in the eye he said “I’ve had recent sexual relationships with two women who are married and who I suppose have obviously been in contact with their husbands and kids. One is Martha Elwell, the other is Lisa Montrose.”
Since Upton was looking down he didn’t notice my head snap up from looking at my iPad when he said my wife’s name. Since my surname was different than hers he apparently never even thought that Lisa Montrose’s husband might be Jim Young.
Exercising more restrain than I ever have before in my life I first pretended like I was having an issue with my iPad, turned on my recorder, and then had him repeat what he had just said — which he did. I then proceeded to question him about both women. “How long have you had a sexual relationship with Martha Elwell?” I asked, staring at my iPad.
‘Uh…why is that important?” he dumbly inquired.
“Because establishing the precise date that you were infected is not an exact science and since sexual relations cause Covid-19 to manifest itself differently,” was my deadpan — and lying — reply.
“Since before October of last year when the coronavirus wasn’t even known in China yet — you don’t need more than that, do you?” he replied.
“No, that’s good,” I responded, sweat starting to form under my face shield. I asked him further questions about Martha Elwell and then got to what was most important to me.
“How long have you had a sexual relationship with Lisa Montrose?”
“Since just before Christmas of last year.”
“When was the last time that you had sex with Lisa Montrose?”
‘Five days ago.”
“How many times did you have sex with Lisa Montrose since just before Christmas of last year and now?”
“I…I don’t recall exactly,” Upton replied; “maybe eight or nine times.
“Where did you have sex with her?”
“Every time it was at my condo which is a block from the buildings we work in. She would put in a short appearance at her office and then come see me,” he replied in a voice that made my skin crawl because it was so upbeat and cheerful, like he was recalling a pleasant memory.
“Was anyone else present?”
“No, just Lisa and me although the last time she said she would consider a three-way either with Martha or my brother if he was able to get out of a lock down in New York.”
I cringed and started sweating even more profusely and felt my throat constrict. I shook it off within a few seconds.
I wanted to ask more questions, but it likely would have exposed me. At the point I was at I could justify what I had asked so far, and what more did I really need.
I turned off my recorder, grunted “Thank you for being honest — I’ll be in touch and remember to avoid contact with everyone until you get a clean bill of health so that you don’t infect others. That is especially so for Martha and Lisa.”
“If they test positive can I have sex with them?” he actually asked, indicating what a complete asshole he was.
“Not until you’ve all recovered,” I sneered.
Fortunately social greetings and good-byes no longer allowed handshakes because if I had touched him I would have likely killed him and gone to jail for it. After giving him my warnings I simply turned and walked away.
–δ–
As I drove home I was more conflicted than at any other time in my life. I had the responsibility to hold the information that I had gained from Upton confidential but how could I overlook a cheating bitch wife who may have exposed my kids to the novel coronavirus. By the time that I got home a plan had formed in my mind; the first step was to inform everyone Upton had contact with about the possibility of infection and the second thing was to get my family tested.
Within an hour I had either phoned or emailed all of Upton’s contacts except Lisa. When I talked to Martha Elwell she was especially distraught. “Is John Upton the person who tested positive?” she sobbed into the phone.
“I’m sorry Mrs. Elwell but I can’t divulge the person; if you have a suspicion that it is John Upton you should ask him directly,” I replied. I hoped that the fact that I had repeated his name back to her and even emphasized it would be enough to have her check. I hoped that somehow she would find a way to visit pain on him.
Since I worked for the Health Department I was able to get my family tested immediately, including Karen, Winston and Crystal. By “immediately” I mean that very day using the most accurate test and one that could be processed (and was) within an hour. Lisa, me, both kids, and Karen tested positive; somehow Winston and Crystal did not, even though they were given two different tests. After consultation — despite Lisa’s objections — we decided that Karen should move in with us for a quarantine period.
I found it impossible to be civil to Lisa so I tried to just ignore her. That pissed her off especially when I was extremely cordial to Karen when I helped her move into the guest room. When we went to bed Lisa confronted me. “Why are you acting like such an asshole — it’s like you’re blaming me when it’s more likely that you’re the source of the novel coronavirus infection of our family.”
“Really?” I snarled. “I haven’t had sex outside of marriage with someone who is infected — can you say the same thing?”
She flinched, but then recovered. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” she snapped.
“I don’t know, Lisa — you’re an intelligent woman. You figure it out — but do it silently; I have no desire to interact with you in any way.”
“How dare you…” she started to say.
That’s all she got out before I got in her face and in a low growl said “Shut the fuck up, bitch,” words that I had never used with her before — or even thought of using. “If you infected our kids you’re in for a world of hurt!”
She ran crying into the bathroom.
My conscience was clear, and I knew how I would be reacting depending upon what happened with the virus, so I slept a full seven hours. When I awoke the next morning Lisa was on our bed as far away from me as she could get, awake but bleary-eyed. When she saw me get out of bed it was obvious that she had had an attitude adjustment. “Jim…can we please have a talk?”
“Once everything with the virus has shaken out — not until then — so don’t ask again,” I snapped.
Since I was involved I couldn’t do the contact tracing for my family. However, I did ask the kids and Karen about what they told the contact tracer, and all three of them had virtually no contact with anyone except the family. Also, all of my contacts were with protective gear on — that left no doubt in my mind (although I didn’t have any doubt anyway) that Lisa was the source of the infections in our family.
–δ–
Over the next few days there was some justice, and some injustice.
The justice — Lisa developed severe symptoms within two days after the afternoon she was tested. She ended up in the hospital ICU. Further justice, Karen, me, and my son, were asymptomatic and all of our vital signs were positive and based upon our doctor’s opinion we were likely to remain as such.
The injustice — my little girl was feeling poorly the day that Lisa was admitted to the ICU, and the next day she was admitted to the hospital too. That night Karen and I had a long talk after my son went to bed.
“Jim — you’re probably wondering why even though I tested positive Winston didn’t,” Karen said.
“I thought that it was just luck-of-the-draw,” I replied.
“There’s likely more to it than that,” she scoffed. “We haven’t been intimate in months. I know that you don’t like him, and over the last year I have come to see why you don’t, and to be honest I’m to the point now that I virtually hate him. I should have listened to Crystal when she told me not to marry him.”
Her last declaration gobsmacked me; I was slightly, but not entirely, surprised too by the rest of her statement. “Are you going to divorce him?” I asked.
“Yes, I am; once society gets back to a new normal that is likely the first thing that I’ll be doing,” she replied. “How about you and Lisa?”
I was a little surprised by that question. “Uh…what do you mean?”
“I think that you know. You somehow found out that Lisa is cheating on you.”
“What makes you think that, Karen?”
“The way you reacted to and treated her when you disclosed the possibility of the novel coronavirus infections within the family said that to me. Plus — and I apologize for not telling you this previously — last Christmas I overheard part of a cellphone conversation that Lisa had that made me suspicious, and there are things during the pandemic that have reinforced that view in my mind,” Karen responded.
“If I get some proof that I can use, I’ll be taking the same route that you are,” I replied.
“Her cellphone is here — can’t a techie like you find things out from that?” she smiled, handing me Lisa’s cellphone.
I raised my eyebrows, and then hesitantly took Lisa’s cellphone from her. “I’ll take a look — just to make sure that she was honest with the contact tracer about who her contacts are,” I smiled. Of course that was a lie — I wanted to see if she had communications with Upton and other potential fuck buddies.
Being an IT guy once I got past her password — which took about eight minutes — I did a deep dive into her phone. There were quite a few canceled texts and emails. In about three hours — I didn’t get to bed that night until late — I was able to locate explicit exchanges with Upton and two other potential fuck buddies, a first who Lisa apparently stopped communicating with eighteen months ago and a second who Lisa apparently stopped communicating with about nine months ago.
Using Lisa’s phone I sent texts to both of the guys who I thought were potential fuck buddies wondering if they would like to re-start a relationship. The first never answered; the second one — Josh Martin — answered the very next day. After the exchange of about twenty texts I arranged for him to “meet Lisa” at a location about a mile from my house after the sun went down. Martin was stupid enough to send me a recent naked photo of himself so I knew what he looked like (in fact I knew more of what he looked like than I cared to). Searching social media I found out that he was also married.
–δ–
Before my meet date with Martin there was a little more justice. Having been given an experimental drug that seemed to work well on children my daughter came home from the hospital. Karen, my son, and I were tested again and we all still were positive but with no symptoms whatsoever and our doctor reiterated what she had previously told us — she didn’t expect us to ever have symptoms and to be fine once our quarantine period was up.
Lisa was still in the hospital on a ventilator.
Karen watched the kids while I went to “Lisa’s” meeting with Josh Martin. Karen promised to provide an alibi should I need one, and to provide a comforting shoulder if I wanted to talk about it.
In days of face masks, goggles, face shields, and other cover-ups hiding one’s identity is easy. Therefore Martin was totally unfazed when someone with a face mask and goggles on approached him in the park I had set for the meeting. By the time he realized that something was wrong I had him in a choke hold. Using a voice changer, with the microphone hidden by my N-95 mask, I laid things out for Martin.
“Josh — I assume that you want to live; if you do, nod your head since the pressure I have on your neck right now probably doesn’t allow a coherent verbal response.”
He nodded his head as vigorously as he could.
“I’m going to loosen my grip only enough for you to talk; if you try to escape I’ll choke you out — got it?”
He nodded his head again, and I slightly released my grip and turned on my recorder.
“Did you have an affair with Lisa Montrose?”
“Yes.”
“When did it start and when did it end?”
“It started about a year and a half ago and ended about nine months ago.”
I continued on with how it started and ended, who was the aggressor, where they met, what times, and how many interludes they had. I concluded it with “Now I’m going to choke you unconscious — you’ll be out about twenty seconds and then recover. If you ever have any communications with Lisa again you won’t recover the next time. Got it?”
He nodded his head,
“Also, if you tell anyone about my meeting you your wife will find out what you just told me; if you remain silent she won’t. Got it?”
He nodded again.
I did choke him unconscious, and then I got the hell out of there. As soon as I got home I discarded all of my outerwear into a neighbor’s garbage can and deleted all of the recent texts to and from Martin in a manner whereby they could never be recovered.
The next day another form of justice cropped up. My big boss at my IT job called me and said that my immediate supervisor had decided to retire and he offered me the job, starting up immediately, especially since some of the restaurants and other businesses in other areas of the country (where we also did business) were starting back up. Since most of my work could be done from home as long as I got out of quarantine within the next week or so — which was expected — I was good to go. He actually considered my contact tracing experience — which I was still doing part time from home — a positive.
That evening after the kids were in bed there was another form of “justice.” Karen sat me down in the living room and encouraged me to tell her about Lisa. I sighed heavily and then told her about John Upton (without disclosing that I got the information on a confidential basis from contact tracing, only the information I got from her cellphone), Josh Martin, and a third guy who I suspected but didn’t have good information about. She was very sympathetic.
Then I turned the tables on Karen and asked her about her situation with my father-in-law Winston. She was very willing to relate all of the issues she had with him — which she also disclosed were issues that Crystal had had, and was why Crystal divorced him. Karen couldn’t believe that she was so naïve as to marry Winston, but he caught her at a very vulnerable time in her life when her first husband had just died and she had no self-esteem. Now that she felt better about herself there was no doubt that she was going to divorce Winston.
“So what’s the conclusion about you and Lisa?” Karen asked.
“I don’t see any way that I can stay married to her. I think that I can get physical custody of the kids since she put their lives in danger by having an affair with John Upton — who tested positive with the novel coronavirus — but in any event how can I stay married when she’s had at least two affairs and likely more?”
“So, what are you going to do for sexual release in view of your divorce?” Karen asked in a very sultry voice as she stroked her index finger over my chest.
I smiled widely. “I’ll have to find somebody else — not a one-night stand, though; someone that I could learn to love.”
“Are you taking applicants for the job,” she asked while staring into my eyes and now rubbing my chest with her whole hand.
“This is too good to be true,” popped into my pea brain. I hesitated for a few seconds while she continued staring at me — more into my soul than just my eyes. There was no alternative. I planted the most passionate kiss that I could muster on her lips. She kissed back just as passionately.
When we broke our kiss I chuckled “You’re one hell of a great kisser.”
“Wait until you see what I can do with my pussy,” she snickered with a malicious grin on her face.
Only a couple of minutes later as Karen lay on her back on my bed — naked — with my lips trying to suck her clit down my throat, the fingers of my right hand abusing her Gräfenberg–spot, and the fingers of my left hand pinching her profound nipple extending proud from her massive right tit I thought to myself “Is this really happening?” In case it was a dream I didn’t want to wake up.
When her first orgasm hit Karen flipped like a pancake, so violently that she almost spun off the bed. I continued to stroke her thighs and tits as she recovered. Once she did recover she got a diabolical grin on her face, pulled me completely onto the bed and with more strength than I thought her capable of turned me on my back. After two strokes with her hand of my already rock-hard cock she slowly impaled herself on me. It was then that I found out what she meant by her boast “Wait until you see what I can do with my pussy.”
The woman must have been doing Kegel exercises her entire life because her pc muscles acted on my cock like a peristaltic pump displacing a viscous liquid. After she had me almost on the brink she started bucking up and down at the same time as she was squeezing and releasing. I came like a volcano, so hard that I’m surprised that I didn’t blow Karen up to the ceiling. She groaned loudly as I discharged spurt after spurt of seminal fluid into her deft pussy.
When I was done ejaculating I looked up at the sex goddess as she continued to buck as her prodigious tits flopped up and down. While she had a pleased look on her face I had cum so quickly I doubted that she had as a result of penile penetration, so I pulled her down to me, smashing her soft yet firm boobs into my chest, and thrusted hard upwardly a dozen times or so until her orgasm hit and she spasmed like she had stuck her finger in an electrical socket.
Ultimately we both lay silent, Karen on top of me. I felt the most euphoric I ever did in my life as I leisurely stroked the sides of her tits as she purred in appreciation. Sometime later she rolled off of me and smiled as we were face-to-face. “You sure know how to back up a boast,” I chuckled; “your pussy is radioactive.” She giggled appreciatively.
After we exchanged a few more kisses she snickered “I also give an earth-moving titty fuck.”
“I’ll bet that you do,” I laughed.
“If you have some lube I’ll prove it,” she shot back.
I went into the bathroom and got some lotion. While I slathered the lotion over her chest she sucked my cock hard — probably one of the easiest things she ever had to accomplish considering how stoked that I was. Once I was hard she put a little lotion on my cock and as I was about to mount her she said “Do it backwards.”
I wasn’t quite sure what she meant until she shinnied down on the bed and said “Stroke your balls over my face.” In this position not only was my entire cock energized as it rubbed in the valley between her pushed-together tits but she tongued or kissed my balls. As I started to ejaculate she took one of my testicles into her mouth and for the second time within an hour I came like a volcano.
As I fell asleep spooning Karen, with one of my hands massaging her nipples, I thought “That was the best sex of my life by a considerable margin.”
–δ–
When I awoke the next morning Karen was gone. I knew that she would be. She loved my kids like they were her own and she wouldn’t want to have them see her in my bed. When I dragged my ass out of bed — simultaneously still euphoric and wiped-out by the phenomenal sexual encounter the previous evening — both kids and Karen were in the kitchen laughing. Karen and I returned a chaste hug and kiss on the cheek as I growled into her ear, resulting in her playfully slapping me and mouthing “the kids can’t know.” Of course she was right.
After I hugged and tickled each child Karen said “If you’d like some toast and oatmeal have a seat,” which I did. Karen and I played footsie under the table while we ate and chatted with the kids. When breakfast was over I cleared the table and either washed or put in the dishwasher all of the pans, plates, and glasses while Karen took the kids outside for some exercise before some Internet or home-schooling lessons.
I worked in the morning while Karen taught the kids and then made lunch. After lunch she sent the kids out to play in the back yard — where we could clearly keep an eye on them — cautioning them once again not to interact with any other kids.
As we stood next to each other watching the kids through the kitchen window I hugged her. “You’re a goddess,” I mumbled as I nibbled on her earlobe.
“Did I do well enough to have my application seriously considered?” she cackled.
“Let’s put it this way,” I replied between earlobe nibbles, “if last night was a test you got an A+++++ to infinity. Once I bounce the cheater out I would like nothing more than to have you live with me full time,” I sighed. We both smiled at each other and exchanged a quick kiss.
For the rest of our seven days in quarantine Karen and I shared a bed at night, until about 5:30 in the morning when she went back to the guest room. I would like to say that we “slept together,” but that would be a misnomer since the majority of the time we were in bed together there wasn’t much sleeping. Karen and I seemed to be not just sexually compatible, but sexually attuned to each other. Despite what was going on in my marriage and the pandemic it was the best week of my life.
–δ–
One profession still functioning during the pandemic — even though there were rare (and usually virtual) — court appearances was the legal profession. I had a good friend who was an attorney and he put me in contact with Susan Shark (her real surname is Sharpton, but everyone calls her Shark and she had no problem with it because she is as restless and vicious as a tiger shark), the divorce specialist in his firm.
Electronically I gave Susan what information I had from Lisa’s cellphone, which fingered both Martin and Upton. I didn’t tell her about my personal contact with Upton since that was confidential information but I did express the desire to see if he was the source of the infection of our family. I gave her the recording of what Martin told me but since that was obtained from him under duress she said we couldn’t use it, although we could call him to testify if things went to trial. We could use the cellphone information since both my cellphone and Lisa’s were part of the same account with the carrier and I typically paid the bills for both.
Susan thought that I could retain possession of the house and be get physical custody of the kids (as long as both Lisa and I had joint legal custody) if she could prove that Lisa was so reckless as to have been infected with the novel coronavirus from Upton and transferred it to the kids.
I told Susan to draft the divorce petition on the grounds of irreconcilable differences (the only ground recognized in Virginia, where we resided, although adultery can be used to prove irreconcilability). I planned on having her served a day or two after she got out of the hospital. Karen also used Susan to start work on her divorce papers, which would be served right away.
Once our quarantine was lifted — all of me, Karen and the kids tested negative — Karen did not return to Winston’s house. She told him that I needed help with the kids, especially since I needed to go into work for a few hours each day for the tasks that I couldn’t do at home. Karen even turned Winston down when he begged, whined, and threatened seeking her return. A day later he was served with divorce papers.
Three days after our quarantine was over Lisa was released from the hospital. I told Winston over the phone that I was picking her up and taking her to his house to stay.
“What are you talking about?” he inquired.
“I’m divorcing your daughter and she needs a place to stay, so I’m dropping her off at your house. I’ll bring the kids by to see her early evening” I hung up before he could respond.
When I picked Lisa up it was unsurprising that she had lost a lot of weight, and she didn’t really have much to lose when she was admitted. After we took our masks off in the car she leaned over to kiss me, but I turned my head so her lips hit my cheek. She got an odd look on her face and said “You didn’t seem to make much of an effort to contact me in the hospital — I know that the Covid-19 rules prevented you from seeing me but I would have expected some electronic communication.”
“I had the kids contact you the best that I could,” I snapped.
“You didn’t, however,” she snipped.
“I didn’t see the need since I’m divorcing you,” I matter-of-factly replied.
“What the fuck?” she snarled “Why?”
“Because you fucked Josh Martin, John Upton, and probably others, and you likely got Covid-19 — which you passed on to the rest of the family including landing our daughter in the hospital — from one of your lovers,” I snapped back.
Lisa didn’t say anything for a while. “Why do you think that?”
“Your phone says it all,” I chuckled, even though there wasn’t anything funny.
After a long pause Lisa said “You’re willing to throw away eleven years of marriage and put our kids through the stress of a divorce because of a couple of flings that didn’t mean anything?”
I scoffed. “They meant something to me. I’m dropping you off at your daddy’s house.”
When we got to daddy’s house Lisa didn’t want to get out of the car, but I finally coaxed her out by telling her that I was bringing the kids by early evening. I was really a nice guy and helped her up the steps to daddy’s front door. He took over from there. If his looks could kill I’d be dead, but instead he just grumbled something about being happy to get rid of Karen and me.
–δ–
Of course there were some skirmishes before everything settled down. At first Winston and Lisa made noises about contesting the divorces. However, once 1) we submitted a report by a contact tracing expert that identified with a 90% probability that Upton was the source of the novel coronavirus exposure of our family; 2) Crystal supported Karen’s allegations of emotional abuse by Winston; 3) the whole family found out that a delayed insurance payout that Karen got as a result of her first husband’s death put her finances on a par with Winston’s so that she wasn’t asking for any money from him; 4) Karen gave me enough money to buy out Lisa’s interest in our house and became my mortgage-holder; 5) an assessment by a child psychologist determined that Karen was an excellent role model and mother-figure for the kids; and 6) I agreed to let Lisa have the kids two nights a week as long as she moved out of Winston’s house and stayed local; settlements were reached in both divorces.
Society was back to a new normal when the divorces were final — on the same day. The very next day Karen and I got married before a justice of the peace (with Crystal and my brother as the witnesses) and took a ten day honeymoon to Aruba while Crystal and Lisa took turns watching the kids.
There were only two things wrong with the honeymoon; 1) I got jealous when Karen was on the topless beach at The Renaissance Island because so many guys were staring at her large classic East-West boobs with protruding nipples; and 2) Karen almost fucked me to death — but what a way to go if she would have.
In fact, the entire year since our honeymoon has felt like a continuation of it, the kids seem well adjusted, and Karen and I have never been happier in our entire lives.
