Mom has a surprise pregnancy, It was three months after the fender bender that had sent Mom to the hospital with abdominal pains. Those pains turned out to be a miscarriage of a pregnancy that had lasted only two months.
“We’re going to try again,” Mom said. She seemed so happy standing in the kitchen.
“Try what again, Mom.”
“To get pregnant, of course. I’m turning forty soon, and your dad’s in his mid fifties. We have very little time left to have another child. It was a miracle I got pregnant this year, and I hope there’s a little of that magic left!”
Mom had always wanted another child after me, but here it was 18 years after I had been born, and I still had no brother or sister. They weren’t able to conceive.
Finally, after lots of visits for Dad at the fertility clinic and tries with artificial insemination, there was success.
“Your father is going to the clinic tomorrow to do ‘his part.’ I ovulate the day after, so that’s when the insemination will happen.”
I should have been happy, but I wasn’t. I should have encouraged Mom, but I
All I felt was guilt. Maybe fear, too.
“Scott, you took it so hard when I lost the baby. I thought you’d be over the moon to hear the news.”
“What is it Mr. Gloomypants!”
She sounded so cheerful. I never wanted to do anything that would cause her any pain or heartache. Here she was a tall, beautiful blonde who looked like she was still in her twenties, and all she wanted was to have another baby so she could show it the same love she had given me all my life.
“Nothing, Mom. It’s just…”
“Scott. I know when something’s bothering you. Now, tell Mom what it is.”
“It’s just I don’t want you to be disappointed if… you know.”
“Scott, all those years that your dad and I couldn’t conceive—I never needed any pregnancy test to know it hadn’t happened. Something deep inside me told me right from the start. But, this last time, by the time I got home from being inseminated—I knew! You can’t imagine how I felt. I knew!”
“That was then, Mom.”
“And what’s changed? That was only four months ago, just a couple days after your 18th birthday. You brought Dad luck when you drove him to the clinic.”
The guilt really kicked in now. I had to make a decision, probably the second biggest decision of my life: should I tell Mom?
“I don’t want you to get your hope’s up, Mom. It’s probably not going to happen again. If it does, great, but I really don’t think it’s going to happen.” I couldn’t even look at her when I said that.
“Scott, this isn’t like you. Come here. Come to Mom.” She held her arms wide and I melted into them, as usual. I put my arms around her while she held me close. She felt warm as she gave a little motherly rocking motion.
Then she pushed me to arms’ length and asked, “What is it? What aren’t you telling me?”
“Scott, I know when you’re lying. I always do. Tell me. There’s nothing so bad that we can’t work it out together, just like we always have.”
“Not this time, Mom. This is a deal-breaker.”
“Okay, now you’re scaring me.”