It was probably the strangest promotion ever.
You see, my mother had a great job as a powerful corporate lawyer. She worked for Cobolt Lansing in their acquisitions department.
When they acquired a smaller company which made sex toys, the Board of Directors decided to continue the manufacturing of the adult products, because they were highly profitable.
However, none of the high powered attorneys wanted anything to do with the sex toys department because they were afraid it would stain their reputations (no pun intended).
So, my mother was offered the spot as lead attorney for the sex toys department. If things went well, she was promised an even bigger promotion as a corporate lawyer for Cobolt Lansing.
Sure enough, my mother accepted the job. And it was a decision which would change her life forever.
***
My mother placed the box on the dining table after she had come home from work. It was a plain box. Unmarked. Obviously a prototype.
“Well, here it is,” she said, putting her hands on her hips.
She was still dressed in her corporate attire, which consisted of an office skirt and a buttoned up top.
“What is it?” I asked.
“The new SuperVibMax5000.”
“The what?”
She shook her head. “Nevermind. The name’s not important.”
There was a slight look of embarrassment on her face after she had said the name of the device. After all, the thing was a sex toy.
“So you’re literally taking your work home with you,” I teased.
I couldn’t help teasing my mother. And she responded by putting her hands on her hips and giving me a stern motherly look.
“As a little reminder, don’t forget who’s paying for your expensive college tuition.”
“Okay, okay,” I backed off.
My mother also backed away from her stern look.
“I’m in charge of making sure we don’t get sued,” she said. “You know, products liabilities, deceptive marketing. That sort of thing.”
“Deceptive marketing? For a sex toy?”
She nodded. “This isn’t just any sex toy. The SuperVibMax series has grossed tens of millions around the world. This new model is expected to break records. Especially with all the claims that the inventors have made.”
“Good thing you’ve acquired them. Just in time.”
“True, but with those claims comes responsibilities. We could be looking at lawsuits if we don’t deliver.”
“So what are you going to do? Test it?” I asked.
She nearly blushed, “The corporate bosses suggested that I give it a try before doing any sort of legal analysis. I need to know how true the claims are.”
The question I asked was half-joking. But my mother was entirely serious about having to use the sex toy. It was a response I wasn’t expecting. Suddenly, I knew things were going to be awkward.
***
That night. I went to my room to sleep. Before I could close my bedroom door, I heard a loud buzzing sound which immediately stopped. There was no doubt about it. Mom must have been trying out the new sex toy. What a dirty thought to imagine.
My mother opened her bedroom door, and we awkwardly looked at each other in the hallway. She wore a small tshirt and pajama pants. There was a slightly embarrassed look on her face.