Rakhsh: I am 37 years old widow beauty woman and had not any sex relation after separation

I am 37 years old widow beauty woman and had not any sex relation after separation(2000) because I grow up in traditional & religion family and society that think sex with anybody except husband is illegal addition in our culture the girls should being a virgin on our wedding night can be so awkward–and even so shaming ?!
Really in my first marriage since I was so young without any sex experience and haven’t sex relation so I was not sufficient sex with my husband .Unfortunately he has not experience in make love and sex with his woman and he was thinking all times to fuck me without thinking what do I need?! After separation since I am attractive many guys were looking to be my boyfriend but I thought they were looking to have only sex relation without any respect to my personally and woman right . I was running from all man because I thought they are looking to fuck me not thinking about me or my feeling so I was alone about 12 years without boyfriend or any sex relation and slowey I forgotten my feeling.
Suddenly two years ago (2017) I invited to go to profession conference in my city . The Professor had come from Tehran (Capital f Iran) that he was one of the top professor in finance (he had has come in my city in 2015 and I couldn’t attend to his conference despite I liked to see him) . I heard his name before in university and profession magazine and read his articles in economic newspaper and also majority of people read his manual book in all Iranian university about finance and investing and I wished to see him . Although he was 64 years old but it seem about 55 years old and was handsome and top lecturer. I was sitting beside his seat in conference and feel he looked me .Despite it was first time I saw him I feel I know him several years and I get nice feeling about him! I understood he has married but his family are living out of country. I was challenging with myself in period of conference since I was thinking how was if he was my man!? When I saw him for the first time my heart skipped a beat. Everything around me just suddenly stopped. i just couldn’t stop staring. he looked right back at me and flashed me a smile that melted my heart. I asked myself constantly is this love?
It was fun without any information and in the first meeting this feeling was happened. I fell I love him but couldn’t say to anybody since he was married and also very famous that many girl and woman were thinking about him. After meeting I introduce myself to him and invite him to show seaside to my city. Against my expect he accept and we were going to walk into special park and I invite him to tea. He accept but pay the tea and said it is his prestige that must pay table fee all times so he paid menu. I was flying with him since may audience and student was looking that I am walking with him. It was my dream to have a man same him despite has not any information about him unless he is very famous professor in my profession and also he is married and his family are out of country. I ride him to airport and after his flight I feel something was happened to me. I tried to connect him by telegram and email and find he is also was interest to know more about me. Since I should went to capital country to pass some profession examination try to arrange a meeting to see him in Tehran (Capital of Iran). He was so happy to see me and kiss my face slowly that I feel all f my body become hot and hot. Really I wanted to hug and kiss him but I was ashamed and afraid. I invited him to come to my city although didn’t believe he accept. next some days he called me and said he is coming tomorrow night to my city I. went to airport and feel it is several years that I know him. He wants to go to hotel but I invited him to come to my small & simple apartment. He accepted and finally came over to me and asked some questions about my life and family. As I had a special problem in my pussy so we couldn’t have real sex till three months after surgery but we make love and I reached to fully orgasm by him. His finger is witch to my clit and pussy. I also coming soon first lick, but I push his head inside and raised his hip. With kisses deep inside and strong lick makes me moan to the core and enjoyed so that I cried to be loved forever, this help his strong dick penetrates my softly and he urge for my love more and more till the climax.. At that point I realized that it’s ideal to startup by lick my initially to satisfy
He holds my hand, it was all of a sudden and my heart was about to pop up through my mouth. I somehow acted normal. He took my hand to touch his cock and really I wanted to hold his cock but I was so ashamed to do it . I am so horny right now, somehow controlling myself. Will he kiss my lip and touch my body and play with my breast, it would feel so good. I passed first night with worry since I was very worry about his behavior since however he was a man and I was widow woman that any men were want to have sex with me. Although we sleeping together but when I explained my sex problem that name was Pelvic Inflammatory Disease and told him it needs small surgery that I didn’t do so I don’t feeling to have sex relation he accept to haven’t real sex unless some kiss and he hug me silent without any push and didn’t try to enter his cock to me even despite he could fuck me on asshole but he didn’t do anything!!