I Love My Mother, A son explains his relationship with his mother

I Love My Mother, A son explains his relationship with his mother… Shaun and I have been friends for a few weeks. Not dating, he lives in the building I just moved into, and we became friends right away, despite my being almost twice his age.

Our friendship has that easy, comfortable feel to it that usually takes a long time to develop. I am thankful for that, for I have no other close friends here, and no family to speak of.

We have been sitting in his apartment, sipping wine, snacking on cheese and crackers, talking about our families. We shared a similar love and history of large family gatherings, traditions for the holidays and such, but that where the similarities ended.

“I envy the openness you had growing up.” I meant it. My family household was prude central.

“Yea, we were very open, no closed doors, no topics off limits…” he mused, “If mom was getting dressed to go somewhere and I had a question or needed to talk about something, I did, and she dressed or undressed while I watched, no big deal. If mom walked in my room to wake me up and I had an erection, as most males do in the morning, I didn’t try to hide it, it was a natural thing. I hadn’t been conditioned to think it was something to be ashamed of.”

“I can’t imagine… but I admit, I am a little jealous of the closeness you all share.” And I am, it would be wonderful to grow up in a home with family that didn’t judge, didn’t hide their sexuality from each other.

“It’s just how I grew up, all perfectly natural, normal for us.”

“I’ll say it again Shaun, I am jealous.” I laughed, but I truly did feel that I had missed out by having such a closed off family.

I took another sip of wine. Silence permeated the room for several seconds… the air seemed to grow heavy with anticipation, but I was unsure why it felt that way.

“I love my mother.” he said, rather simply.

“Of course you do Shaun.” I replied. “It’s obvious from the way you speak of her. She must be a wonderful lady, look at the son she raised.” I said with a wink.

He laughed, but it was quickly erased, he looked at the glass in his hands, then at me…

“I mean… I really love my mother.” he said again, the emphasis clearly in his voice as well in the look on his face. That handsome face, almost boyish, except for the strong set of his jaw and determined look in his large, brown eyes.

The implication of his words became clear and I took a deep breath. I fiddled with the hem of my shirt and glanced out the window… buying time to collect my thoughts.

“Do you find that disturbing?” his voice almost a whisper. “Because I really feel safe telling you this but I need to know that you’re okay with it.”

I couldn’t answer him, I couldn’t find the words.

“Gayle?” he said a little louder, “Does it disturb you? I need to know… please.”

I slowly released the deep breath I hadn’t realized I was holding.

“No Shaun, it doesn’t. It’s just… unexpected I guess.” I tried to choose my words carefully. “How did it start? When?”

He scrubbed his large hands over his face, then over his short cropped, brown hair. Clearly trying to do what I had just done, gathering his courage and thoughts. He began slowly…