So life after Craigslist has been a challenge to meet up with men for sex. It’s been more than two years since I’ve got laid.
Just before CL closed out the men 4 men hookup, I was in contact with a guy looking for oral on a regular basis. I was excited – exactly what I wanted, and hoped he was also up to make me submit anal. We chatted on the phone, he told me his age, I knew he was a bout 20 years older – which older can be nice, in my opinion. When we finally met, I drove to him, and he was much older than he led me to believe, 30 plus years I’d say.
The first meet he wanted to talk. We did, but he talked so long he killed the mood, I went home. We met up again a month later, and he had been talking up during that time by phone how much he loved oral sex, and I let him know I needed him to be hands-on, aggressive, needed him to force my head up and down, deep throat me, face fuck me, and told him when he was ready to cum, not to say a word, to force his cock all the way down my throat and pump his load into the back of my throat and not pull out until he was absolutely certain I swallowed. He said he was down for all of that and he hoped I could keep up because he could take 40 minutes or more to cum.
Well, the next time we met, we undressed and I was ready to suck him off so hard, I was worried he may not have been able to last, and to my complete disappointment, he was unable to get hard, like not even a little. I tried, and tried – with my hand, but felt absolutely NO reaction. I wasn’t going to put him in my mouth soft, because my very first adult experience was with an older guy, who was only able to get semi-flaccid, and unexpectedly came in my mouth – which wasn’t supposed to happen, but he said I was good at what I was doing, and he just went with it – but he’s another story for another day. (I loved getting unwanted cum in my mouth, made me feel so cheap and used – such a turn on).
So, he kept trying to force his cock in my mouth saying it might work. I got so angry, that I wouldn’t let him, and apologized saying things just were not going as I expected. He was angry I left him all hot and bothered, but then was the wrong time to mention he sometimes had trouble getting it up. Had he at least mentioned it before, I could have been mentally prepared and responded accordingly. Under those circumstances, he killed the mood for a second time.
So for over a year following that, I have kept daring myself to go through some twenty-something planned trips to visit an adult sex shop and see whats up. I chicken out more than I can count. I’m in my late 40’s now and, its kinda tough finding that kind of courage. Somehow, quite recently, in fact a month or so ago, I did manage to muster the courage.
I walked through the doors, no biggie, and the guy at the counter was very polite, explained the shop, and costs, and made me feel at ease enough to pay for theater access. I walked in to one of 4 theater rooms, and tried my best not to gawk. I found a seat on a bench, and relaxed.