Susie leaned back again and thought for almost a whole minute.
“Actually I’m surprised how mature she was. I can’t be sure she really understood everything, but we both cried quite a lot and hugged each other a lot.”
“Did you explain who her father really is?” I asked tentatively.
“Not directly. And she didn’t ask directly either, but she’s a bright girl and will certainly work it out. She asked me lots of questions about her Grandfather and – to my surprise – I answered them all, truthfully. Actually it was good for me to talk about it all again.”
Susie looked genuinely pleased. She continued.
“I asked her a few questions too – including if she was still a virgin and she said she was.”
This was a genuine surprise to me. Sophie had a constant stream of boyfriends coming to the house. Although I hated the thought, I had just assumed that, now she was eighteen, she must have slept with at least one of them by now. She might, of course have been lying to her mother but I let that thought go, and listened intently.
“She told me she was frightened about giving herself to a boy who might hurt her both physically and emotionally.” Susie explained. “She told me she’d heard lots of ‘kiss and tell’ stories from the boys at school.” She laughed. “Some of them might even have been true!”
I smiled, remembering the nonsense that had been talked when I was her age.
“What did you say to that?” I asked.
“I told her I had felt exactly the same, especially with all the pressures that there are on both boys and girls of her age.” Susie replied. “It seems she’s reached the point of no return several times with boyfriends but has always stopped them short of full sex.”
I nodded, oddly pleased.
“Now, of course, she has the reputation of being frigid.” Susie said unhappily. “But she’s genuinely scared of what might happen if she lets a boy go any further.”
“What did you tell her?” I asked, eager to know what happened next.
“Well, it took a while to summon up the courage, Mike, but I told her how good it had been for me to learn about sex in a safe and loving environment with an experienced man whom I could trust absolutely.”
At this point I began to have doubts. Was my interest really a manifestation of love and trust? Or was it just lust on my part? To be truthful, I’m still not sure of my own motives then, but it was too late to go back now, and Susie was still talking.
“I told her how I had given my virginity to my Dad and in return had learned how wonderful sex with the right person could be. How it had given me confidence to deal with boys my age on equal terms, and how, after a while, I had felt able to try new things with him in a loving, supportive and safe environment.”
I could tell the memory was still vivid in her mind by the tears welling up in her eyes. She seldom talked about her father these days.
“In fact, I told her how it gave me the confidence to really enjoy my sex life with the few partners I’d had – right up to – and including – you!”
This was certainly true. From the moment she had eventually decided to go to bed with me, Susie had been an exciting and adventurous lover. She still was.